7-1=0

Back again and again.

2009-11-13T20:29:00.000-08:00

Lol, I got bored mugging for chem, so I started searching blogskins just for fun, and found this 2PM one. I thought it was nice, so yeah. Im posting. I'll most likely revert back to this one again anyways. Lazy update the bar <--- much. Yep. Till next time...

7-1=0!!

2009-05-20T06:55:00.000-07:00

Im testing out livejournal.
So Ill be posting over at...you guessed it! delphh.livejournal.com
See if its nicer there.

2009-05-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

After 6 years in Hwa Chong, I finally felt like I actually did well for a test, and finally felt the anxiety that usually comes with it - that sense of not doing as well as I hoped. Yeah, I had Chem SPA skill A today.

Im proud to say that I DID study for this test, quite thoroughly in fact. But I cant help feeling as though I left something really really important out. It might also be something extremely minor, but that minor mistake will get me a 6 in 1 section, resulting in an overall 6 for skill A out of a possible 8. Anything less than 8 is...wasted, since its pretty easy to score. Im just anal like that. Hope I didnt miss anything. Hmm.

Anyway, Safra Mt Faber is honestly some sekret ego-boosting alley. I simply love bowling there. Not only because the staff there know me personally since Im a regular, but also because the lanes there rock. Like, pure hooking goodness. And the pins there love to fall. I cant remember the last time I bowled there without hitting a 190 game, or even a 200 game at that. Just today, I bowled a 226 with a 6-bagger to end off the game. Its not brilliant, but its decent, so Im happy with it. And the atmosphere there does help me relax a whole lot more so I gather my thoughts more easily and coherently, which would then make me actually do what I have in mind.
Straight push-off, free swing, hangtime, slide with trailing leg all the way to the side, hand behind the ball, control balance arm, straight follow-through.
Thats quite a bit to have to run through my head before going up for every shot, but at Mt Faber I seem to be able to do it quite adequately. :DD

If only A divs were held at Mt Faber...

Its been awhile, and I honestly dont think itd matter as much.
Afterall, memories were supposed to fade.
Im praying they do.
Baby, its hurting us both.

Physics revision, nuclear physics, time tunnel and wordbank beckon...

2009-05-11T03:50:00.000-07:00

I shall rant.

Sheesh I dont know whats wrong with myself, honestly. I mean, how inconsistent can someone get. Just yesterday, I hit a 196 average with my parents, and its like the highest average ive hit in recent times. Actually, it might have been my highest EVER. Then I hit a 120(?), or something around that range today. Fine, the first game shouldnt be counted, since the lanes were freaking bone-dry. Apparently they forgot to oil the lanes. But there can simply be no excuse for the performance on normal lanes. I didnt mind the bad breaks or lack of strikes, I just never did throw a good shot nor hit my target as much as I had wanted. siannnnnn. What the hell happened overnight sia. Perhaps I forgot a lot of the basics that I ran through my head at home and on the lanes yesterday when I hit that 196 avg, stuff like STAYING BALANCED and KEEP TRAILING LEG ON THE FLOOR. But as soon as I reached home, I was like "oh, wait...hmm, i didnt slide my trailing leg like i should." -_-

And on my way back from csc, I had my bowling bag checked for the second time at the mrt station. I have nothing against the security guards doing their job and all, since its with the safety of the nation in mind, and I thank them for being vigilant. But I dont understand why its a practice to make the person getting checked open the damn bag. Just open wherever you think theres a bomb and check. He stood there in front of my bag and stared at me. I was like, "Hi, check lor". He said no and asked me to open it. D: So Im helping them check my own bag when I might jolly well miss my train home, and its during the peak hour as well. blehh.

I shall stop ranting here.

physics revision beckons. i will do better at blocks 2. i have to :/
oh, and i must perfect my bowling technique using what free time i have that can be spent bowling. must must must.

till then.

2009-05-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

Gosh, A divisions are over. I dont want it to be over, but it is. The memories and experience will stay with me forever. Thank you hcbowl!

I never did realise how lucky I am to end up with such a great team. We didnt win. It would be a miracle if we did. I mean, 8/10 of the guys who entered the Boys Masters and all 4 of RIJC's Team 1 bowlers are National Development Squad bowlers. Yeah, if anyone in hcbowl did make it....wow.

But its just slightly annoying that bad breaks had to plague my last day, making it not what I had in mind after spending 30mins the night before in front of the mirror practising -_- I thought I threw good shots most of the time. And most of the time I had sexy splits and chops. Its all good in the end. Competition experience will do us more good in the long run. Take what we can out of this. Now im looking forward to bowling on my own/with parents to hone my newly found sekret techinque. WAKAKA.
Oh! and Milos too! But milo will only come after A levels D: sianballs.

Reality came crashing back too soon imo. First lesson after A divisions on friday was a chemisty class test which I didnt know about, or possibly couldnt recall. Right after that I had a compre test with wilks. Then at 11, Mr Low wanted to see me to go through my previous SPA exercises so I was prepared for the MOCK SPA that will take place the following lesson. Consecutive tests ftw. (:

Bowling BBQ later that day did make up for it quite abit. Its like some heartwarming bonding session after A divisions and it was really pleasant, so I liked it. :D

I know I should start spamming revision, but I want to bowl soon. bahh..

2009-04-30T07:12:00.000-07:00

Woah, its been quite some time since I last posted. A divisions have been taking up quiet abit of time, but I dont regret every single second Ive spent.

My life these days revolve around, well, bowling. And the sense of anticipation before every session is immense. In both a good and bad way I suppose. I just really want to get out there and bowl, the kind of adrenaline rush that you'd get when you feel really confident about something. But when it ends, I get this hangover, and I start looking forward to the next session. No doubt, Ive been paying much less attention in what little lectures and tutorials I go to, but I vow to work doubly hard after May 8th, when A divs end.

And it isnt hard to realise that Im drifting further away from my class now, and it isnt a good thing. There is hardly anything in common so I just join them for lectures, tuts, then sleep/listen to music/do work at the benches. 0 communication. Its definitely because much more time has been spent with my team. I dont know how or if this situation will improve, but its sad how I dont even care anymore :/ My teammates are simply the best people to be around, since most (okay, fine, some) are crazy like me, and every moment will be spent joking and laughing annd niaoing gabe. WOO. tag is like even more crazy, in a good way, and i really appreciate it, since he does make trainings/outings so much more funny. Yes, 'funny'. 'Fun' just doesnt do him enough justice.

SAKAE TEA-TIME BUFFET!
noreen ruiyi and gabe made me starve and live on vitasoy for half the day so I could eat more at the buffet. argh. You guys underestimate my powah...but in any case, I still ate alot, AND I LOVED IT! captnfelix joined us later at sakae. Our conversations were stupid and enjoyable. We covered practically everything under the sky, from Vlad the impaler to assrape, from tree branches to well, more ass rape and UP YOURSSS. It was hardly anything constructive or insightful, but I thoroughly enjoyed the time spent. Thanks guys (:

A divs update:
182.7 average during Singles
174.5 average during Doubles

I expect a 190-200 average for the team events. bahhh

Six more games. This time in teams.
End off with no regrets. End off with a bang.
This time I will.

2009-04-21T04:47:00.000-07:00

6 days. 3 trainings.

Make them count.

2009-04-17T07:28:00.000-07:00

Lugging 56lbs of reactive resin and core home is NOT FUNNY.

So much for playing Mr Nice guy.

That said, I feel great from the work out, and happy that I could help cerealcyril, so I guess it evens out.

Its been a long and draining day, but it was fruitful nonetheless. I realised I can do organic chem so much better now, and im not exactly hopeless in Math, which is always an added bonus. Training was also extremely enlightening. I found out my Maxxx still has some reaction left in it. That reaction, along with its inherent pin-slashing, -obliterating, -destroying pin action, will rape at A divs. Im sure of it. CNV was sexy and reliable as ever. I cant believe im talking about my arsenal, but, I am. So there we have it. Maxxx CNV Blackberry will own at A divs. I simply cant wait.

Religion is a complicated and tricky matter. Its been an ethical minefield ever since mankind came into existence. Suf gabe tag noreen and I had a meaningful discussion about religion, though I have no idea how the topic was raised :/ But we did anyway, and I kind of learnt something from it all. I hope I didnt sound preachy or anything, since I know fully well that its pointless trying to force a religion or belief on anyone else. Cityharvest and newcreation may beg to differ, but I dont really care, since they can do whatever they want to promote the Christian faith and it wouldnt concern me. Like how sufen puts it, religion should be about a personal relationship with God, and whether or not we want to have this relationship eventually depends on us alone.

Whatever it is, whether we believe in God or religion, or not, we all live happy and great lives. And life has been just that for me recently. I want this little bubble of joy, happiness and fufillment to last. So, we'll see if it does.

We all live and learn another day.

phew, thank God for that. XD

wish for something to take it all away.

2009-04-14T03:50:00.000-07:00

13 days till A divisions.
Im hoping I will be able to bowl when that day comes :/

Typical day in school on the whole. But oddly enough though, I felt extra lethargic the whole day. So I fell asleep in chemlab, chem lecture and well, I would have fallen asleep in econs too if not for the chemistry A1 practical I had to finish. But then when you look back at my day, it doesnt turn out quite as odd as I first put it out to be, since I fall asleep in lessons most of the time anyway. Hmmm.

Physics with mrlow enlightened me quite abit. No, not about physics. I did understand E-field more now though, but thats not what I meant. He started the lesson off with a speech/lecture/whatever, and some points he mentioned did make me think "what in the world have I been doing up till now?"

We want so many things. We have unlimited wants, in fact. But do we want them enough? Am I working hard enough to get what I want? When we long for something in life, we would do something about it, wouldnt we? But when we dont put in enough effort, when we dont work hard enough, does that mean we dont want it bad enough? Im not sure, since I know deep down that I want some things bad enough. But sometimes I question my determination, for I have always thought myself to be someone who would never give up as easily as most. As long as I genuinely want something or to get something done, I will keep going. mrlow made me realise, that I mistook faith for determination. I have no qualms about waiting, and believing that something will happen, without actually doing much to get things done. Do I want that A at Alevels bad enough? Yes. As bad as the other 85% A students? Yes. Am I doing enough to get that A? Sadly, no.

Its been my greatest downfall. Its like how you care about people around you, but dont do the right things to show them that you do. How are they to believe, or to actually KNOW, that you do care? It just doesnt matter how much we can try and hope that they can somehow feel it, because they simply cant.
If tomorrow never comes, would she know how much I loved her?
She probably wouldnt.
Because I never got to showing her that I did.
Until its too late and nothing matters anymore now.

I simply have got to get things together, and work doubly hard. I want to bowl well in A divs. I want to get my A's. So do whats needed to get them.
This I must do.

Why cant we go back to the days when we actually had fun together.
At least back to when we were friends,
and actually talked.
Friends right up till the day I felt something special.
Then it all went downhill.

Why do we hurt the ones we love most?

2009-04-13T05:55:00.000-07:00

Will we ever know whats best for us? Who decides whats best for us anyways? Often, what we want may not be whats best for us. And we are stupid enough to want it anyway. Does that mean its wrong for us to keep trying for it? I dont know.

I wish I did.

I wonder just how long I can keep this up.

baby what happened to forever.

2009-04-12T06:46:00.001-07:00

After today's training, I guess I might not want to quit the team afterall. But whether I eventually will, rests with my parents and a ho. If my parents dont go WTFKNN WHATDIDYOUDOFORBLOCKS when they see my blocks transcript, Ill stay. Then I must hope aho doesnt suspend me.

Anyway, we had our first schoolteam training today at OCC, the competition venue. I actually thought I did fine today, but my spares were horrible. They were a total disgrace la. My only saving grace were my first balls, that were quite consistent. Much credit has to go my wife. Pin action ftw (: I enjoyed bowling today, and well, felix happened not to be there. I have nothing against felix, honestly, so get that straight. It just so happens that I dont feel right. But now that we're in the same team, and we're doubles partners, I will have to make it work. Somehow. I hope he doesnt find out, cause it would just make things awkward. Its nothing personal, its just bowling.I still love you captain felix :DD

We then went to that shopping mall at yishun, whatever its called, to have lunch. The few of us ended up eating teppanyaki, which was unexpectedly very filling, and value for money. The chef gave us 4 extra bowls of rice for free ((: and extra veggies. So it was great. I still feel guilty having accepted his offer though :/

AND I GOT MY NEW PHONE!

My previous one died. Sort of.
After 2 years of service, he lost a limb and had to be replaced. Survival of the fittest. The screen is messed up, because water seeped in one day I think. I couldnt even trade it in because of that. Damn. So I got the W595 walkman phone. I know its not the latest. I know its common. But I dont care. It just looks the sexiest and nicest out of all the other phones in the whole Singtel retail outlet. And I still like it, alot. :D

love someone,
and you know you'll be there for her when no one else is.
when the rest of the world turn their backs on her,
you'll be the one staring at those backs, with her.

to be loved by someone,
means you know that person will do the same for you.

p.s. liverpool rocks.
ps1 torres is the best striker.
ps2 gerrard is the best midfielder.
ps3 carragher is the best defender.
psp hi gabriel (:

2009-04-10T02:39:00.000-07:00

Back.

Well, s62 had its first SVJ and STJ for this year, and it was good cause I had quite a bit of fun. Our senior-vs-junior was held at that other LAN shop below IRC, or commonly referred to as, sleazy. Because thats what it looks like. A sleazy LAN shop. We play 2 -cm matches and won both. But thats only because we got lucky. The 'junior' team, comprising only of 1 s62 junior, lacked coordination. Their dratfs would have owned ours upsidedown, insideout, had they had better teamwork. I think we ended the first game with a score of 20(sentinel)-48(us) or something. Then we ended the second game before 35 mins.
Team: Joseph 'Pacerier' Peh
Melvin 'Prolohz' Lee
Benjamin 'benxie' Xie
Wei Ze 'GuinsoomE' Lim
Me.

Siao, those middle names look so cool. I like it that way. :D

JTS could have been slightly better though. We basically just hanged out and talked cock, and couldve used some other form of entertainment or programme. It still turned out quite fun though, because ben got OMGWTFPWNZ by dayan's VICEGRIP OF DOOM. Thats a week of shoulder pain and bruising, but the mental trauma will be foreverr.
The food was decent at best, so it wasnt quite up to my liking. Miss Clarity Cafe needs to improve. Its right next to national library where the lit people were watching some play btw.

Thank you cyril for the angel-mortal present. I forgive you for daoing my letters! I was shocked, literally, by the sweets. TWICE. It was some in bottle that can only be opened by squeezing on 2 metal plates on the cap. And if you do that, you...well...get a shock. :/

-I want to bowl. But training's on sunday, and I dont want to bowl the day before. So i shall persuade my parents to let me bowl today. And im actually thinking of pulling out of the team. But thatll have to wait until I sort things out. Till then, Im glad to be part of HCI's bowling team 2009.

Hmm, I went to 扫墓today. Woke up super early at like 930 (wth la) and then headed for 3 seperate places. All of us were melting under the sun. Try standing on top of a hill in front of a grave, with no tree for shelter, under the sun at 12. :/ not very enjoyable. But I guess I did have fun, and it would be only right for us to carry on this tradition. Whether or not we are actually willing, is a different thing altogether. I wouldnt mind doing it again (: cause I got a tan AT LONG LAST. It might actually be sunburn, but who cares? At least im not white like those chicken rice chicken. And that alone is cause for celebration and jubilation and elation and celebration and...whatever.

2009-04-09T08:27:00.000-07:00

FINALLY! We got our long awaited JVS, and the not-as-higly-anticipated JTS. Im thankful today was eventful.

In short, we won JVS (junior vs senior), and I got A for PW.

Im tired, so ill post again tomorrow. Ill be back.

2009-04-07T04:36:00.000-07:00

EVERYDAY IS A GOOD DAY.

Or so I can keep telling myself.

The first 3 hours of school today were spent meaningfully. 2 and a half hours of sleep during council elections, and a plate of hokkienmee from JC's canteen. What more can you ask of life?
Everything else, in fact.
I ended up not voting at the elections, simply because I never did feel any of the candidates were outstanding, which can then be attributed to my bedtime during Meeting-of-nominees and the election itself. No point voting for people simply based on how friendly they look on the election sheet :/

The school hates Athena. I swear. In total, Ive slept sitting up on the floor for 5 hours. Thats only because they couldnt find it in them to give Athena 2 LT's, like they did with Artemis during Meet-the-candidates, and couldnt give us chairs in the reading room. We ended up like refugees sprawled all over the place la. But its all good, since I got suffficient sleep/rest. An alert DC = a happy DC. :D

Physics SPA skill A is a killerrrrr. Not that its extremely hard, but its very specific to each experiment. I dont want to think. Lol.

Oh. I saw tag on the bus home today, and he was sleeping. I sat next to him, but didnt want to wake him, seeing how peaceful he looked. However, I did accidentally wake him up....ahwell.

When theres nothing in common, even a word would seem too much. I figured that basically sums up...us. I want to talk. Its just how everytime we have nothing substantial to talk about, to relate to. And it feels really good to be around you, yet really really awkward at the same time.

I do wish I had something witty to say everytime.
But I dont, and its taking its toll.

2009-04-03T07:28:00.000-07:00

Joy was missing in my life for a moment there, but now Im guessing its back.

After 2 terrible weeks of miserable crap, I can honestly say that things are looking up again, and hopefully itll stay that way. Thank God. I know some people dont believe in God, but I cant help but feel safe and happy knowing He's always looking out for me. You can say that divine intervention came when I needed it most, and I find renewed strength in me right now. Thank you bryan and josh for everything when I felt like crap just 2 days ago. I shant elaborate since my expression isnt felicitous enough to make anyone who reads this understand what I want to say.

School felt better today, and I actually could do Math! HAH! EAT THAT.

It seems complex numbers isnt as complex as it initially seemed. More like random, useless, a-whole-bunch-of-alphabets-they-call-numbers. Im not proficient in it. But at least I can cope, abit.

Training was exceptional. I felt great! Which is quite amazing considering how most other training sessions are not nearly as enjoyable. My first game was dismal, but like I said, I didnt crash-and-burn. Nearly every shot I made felt great, but the result didnt reflect that, and like gabriel said, my CNV reacts differently from the MaxXx that I recently practice more often with. My shots went high and I had little luck with the spares. On the second, and final roll-off game, I shot a 229, my second highest I think. It sure as hell didnt feel like a 229, and I wasnt OMG WOW 229 and all that, but nvm, it was a good game with 7 strikes. Averaged a 173 for these 2 games. I had a blast bowling the second game (obviously) and then the 2 games after training with gabe and sufen. At the end of the day, I went home with an average of around 164, or possibly higher. Not much better off than my previous averages, but I felt so much better bowling and had confidence in my shots at least, in both my strike and spare shots.

Funfunfun. Lets keep this up.

PHYSICS PLEASE GET AN 'S' AT LEAST SO I CAN BOWL AT A DIVS WTHHHHH! PLEASE....

lalala~
im hoping that, like you said, time will do miracles.
i will have faith. perhaps we do need time on our own.
a new beginning on our own;

because it is only when we first knew each other, that we truely enjoyed the times we had.

when you come back down
if you land on your feet
i hope you find a way to make it back to me;

2009-04-01T05:23:00.000-07:00

Murphy's law.

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. And so they did.

When things all go wrong at the same time, you tend to get affected. Really really affected. Im sorry if I offended people today, since I acted like a mean jerk to alot of people today. Especially to joshua. Sorry guys, sorry josh. I never should have acted the way I did, though in all honesty I dont think keeping all that pent up frustration in me will do me any good either. I solemnly vow to TRY to not let that ever happen. And I guess I might have left a negative impression on some of the junior bowlers today, but bowling is the least of my concerns as of now. It wasnt even something I worried about, right up till today, when other crap messed up my game pretty badly. Roll-offs on friday to look forward to then. I will not crash-and-burn.

Some things are beyond my control, and it is kinda depressing to know you cant do much. My dad's not feeling well, and it isnt good. Not one bit. Im trying to be positive in front of him and all, but its just different. So yeah. Im not even that good with my academics, and that fact might come back to haunt me in the form of suspension from A divisions. Then theres my incompetence in front of you. This is, however, definitely within my control. Im just not dealing with it well enough. #!$%. Enough has been said. I talked the talk, so now walk the walk. Actions > meaningless drivel. No point dwelling on this if I dont even put in minimal effort.

After a tiresome, messed up day, it seems I dont have much to find solace in. How did joy just disappear from my life just like that? Life used to be good. Indulging in DotA wont help either. It just helps kill time and keeps me from idling. The time I kill, is killing me. So I shall pray hard that my concentration will prevail, and keep me focused on revision and work. Hopefully.

baby the only joy in my life
is you.
its so blatantly obvious when i enjoy math lecture.

and math isnt even my favourite subject;

2009-03-31T07:11:00.000-07:00

When words dont mean a thing;

2009-03-29T03:47:00.001-07:00

I had a pretty peaceful day today, with all that feel-good factor. And I dont even know why!

It seems to me that my weekends are usually spent worrying about stuff, and trying desperately to get work done. Then after all that, I still feel like I forgot something really bloody important. But it didnt happen today. Hmm. I want more weekends like this. rah.

So anyway, I was supposed to go for some free bowling assessment by aloysius, but I replied late, so he found 2 other bowlers to replace me and qing instead. No bowling? Not quite. I went to bowl with my parents and it turned out rather pleasantly, considering most sessions end up rather tense whenever any of us bowl badly :X I got 666 over 4 games. What a lucky number -.- But it was an average of 166, so it was decent at best, and could have been much better. I got a 201 game again, which is what I should be getting for most of my games. Credit to my arsenal today, which included MaxXx, CNV and my new-but-is-actually-ruiyis-old spare ball. This will be my arsenal at A divs and I think they should handle any lane condition relatively well. I can feel myself bowling better and with much much more confidence now. The scores will reflect this someday. Lets go!

And I came across this really nice song by Ruben Studdard, which I really like. It will be the latest addition to my limited collection of REALLY NICE SONGS. So itll keep me company while I TRY to do work. Wonder if i'll succeed. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Since the day that we met girl,
I aint never had anyone make me feel this way.
And my heart is sure it wants to be with you
Wanna give you the whole world

Without you here with me, Im lost and so confused
What will it take to show you I'll be by your side.

2009-03-27T07:14:00.000-07:00

很好!

Well, most of the things that have happened for the past two days have been slightly better than it had been for quite awhile. I just hope it wont be temporary. Must keep pace, maintain speed, keep going.

I got back 3 of 5 block test results already. &#$%^#%$&#.
Not good leh. I really could have done much better, especially for chem, some of my careless mistakes were #$#$^#$&##%&%^#$. ahwell, not that I could have forseen those mistakes. No doubt, I could have avoided them by actually working harder and getting my foundation much stronger than it is, but still, no point dwelling too long on it. Move on. We all live to learn another day. I felt I did well for the econs paper, but didnt get the results to show. Math was expected hahahha. AT LEAST IM NOT LAST IN CLASS :DDD ziran you win 2/80. Ill just hope for the best for physics and KILLER GP. Dont. Get. Suspended. Please.

Especially not when Im doing better in bowling. 2nd roll-offs today, and I must say I actually did slightly better than my usual averages, albeit over 2 games only. I really ought to have brought it up much higher with the second game, but it is still a decent average, and Im a little wittle bit happier. 201 148 with an average of 174.5. I talked to gabe about it, and realised I actually bowl best when I forget everything, and just do what I know how to. That being just go up there, bowl, and knock pins down. Its simple if we dont think too much, and its called muscle memory. If I can get this point across to the team, it might help them improve slightly faster, which is definitely a good thing. Our mind can only remember this much, but our body can certainly remember feelings much better. It also remembers how a good shot feels like almost instantly, and all we need to do is press rewind, feel it, and repeat that shot. No point letting the mind mess with what our body already knows. Dont think. Just do it.

In all honesty, the team has to really buck up if we're even to reach our target at A divs this year. That includes me, and I know I should be performing at a level waayyy beyond where I am right now. I got lucky today, so luck has to change into skillz. I do feel quite bad whenever I see others crash and burn. I do it sometimes as well, but I know I've gotten over it, and most probably wont happen. At least not to the same extent it did last time. Its this feeling of helplessness, when you want to help them, but dont know how to go about it. I end up consoling them more than anything, even though accurate tips and advice will help, both their scores and morale. Whats most important now is getting the team ready for the massive A divs. As of now, things arent looking good, but we will make it work. Somehow...
Gogo massive team prep talk before its too late.

On the way home from training, I spent quite a bit of time talking to sufen gabe bryan about how easily someone loses faith. It was quite an interesting little conversation. We established how faith is essentially believing without seeing, blind faith etcetc but I also did get some stuff about what it takes to make someone lose faith. It was quite enlightening. I personally know for a fact that itll take a whole lot more to make me lose faith than most people, and Im quite proud of that. The mind will always be the one that rationalizes, and gives the heart reason to lose faith. Yes, but the heart should always influence the mind into never giving up, never believe that reason, for some things can hardly ever be rationalized.

In the end, it does vary person to person, I suppose. We cant ever make someone else feel something they dont want to, or to believe something they simply dont, just like tag and his post on religion, to which I strongly agree. Its true, we cant expect them to sit and listen and believe everything we say. Its up to them to decide how long to hold on to that faith, and when to let go.

I dont know about you.
But I wont let go just yet.
We need to talk.
sighh...

2009-03-25T06:04:00.000-07:00

Noooooooo. That 210 game came at the wrong time man.

Well, we had our first roll-offs today, as selection for the school team. I didnt do very well in the 2 games that were counted, averaging at least 10 pins below my expectation. Its just funny how they didnt count the third game because we ran out of time, since I was starting to bowl more accurately and was much more relaxed. So yes, I stayed back with gabe sufen tag to bowl extra games. They bowled 1, while i bowled 2 next to them. First was a 176 then a 210. D: shucks. Im not bragging (at least i dont want to, so if it comes across differently, im not). Its just pekcek when you can do so well just after the crucial first 2 games. Now ill have to bowl wayyy better than I did during the next few roll-offs. Its proven that I can do it. Just have to remember what it felt like to bowl with confidence, and to BOWL LIKE I WAS BORN TO.

yeahhh, thats the way.

Today marked the first official school day of the new term. The school simply couldnt find it in them to give us, the sad chem/bio students, a day off from blocks. Its like being throw back into the Pit of Malice that we just came out of. ahwell, whatever. We'll have to go school sooner or later. It would have been a great day if not for the fact that I was feeling like crap the whole day. Headache, blocked nose, sore throat. GP was enlightening and CT was unexpectedly fun. We did this, 3 unbelievable truths and 1 believable fiction thing. The fun came from the stupid things we wrote down, and the stupid things we voted for. Ben was best. He wrote "I brushed my teeth this morning." and everyone voted it as the fiction LOL. Writing something like that down is ... asking to get ownt. My fiction was "I can do Math." :P

Then we had Math after CT. It was perplexing as always. Im trying, abit at the very least, but still..its like, Math and all. Hmm.

I guess I'm feeling slightly less mentally tired now. Its true when they say, things are miserable only if you think they are. There evidently is always two sides to everything in life, and we just have to view them from the lighter side. That way we stay happier and get things done. And I need to get things done indeed.

"Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence." - David Byrne

How I wish. But then again, maybe you're right, it wasnt meant to be.

2009-03-23T05:42:00.000-07:00

@$#@%#$%#@$! tomorrows the last day of blocks. Now, is that really that good a thing? It might just mark the beginning of my suspension from bowling, and that I just officially messed up blocks. Not that I want it to happen, but it might, since Math went expectedly well. Im aiming for 18/80 jiayou! Im counting on chem to NOT get an E,S,U to save my neck from suspension.

I want to sleep, since it helps me forget everything, and brings me into some magical world with rainbows and flying unicorns. No, I was kidding. but it does help me forget stuff. I dont know what to think right now. All I want is to escape. Its never good to escape, but at times we do need to. Without blogs or journals or friends, where people can write/talk to empty their minds, we might all just implode, explode, or whatnot. Why cant we be happy all the time, :/ How I wish I knew what to do, but I never did. Im learning, maybe, but its not enough. Not yet.

And chemistry bits are floating around inside my mind right now, so I have no idea what the hell Im typing. I need to organize those random flying bits and be ready for chem tomorrow. Life never should be this hard. But I guess if it wasnt, it would not be life already. It'd be heaven, somewhere we're obviously not in.

if you could see what I see, you're the answer to my prayers;

maybe this is what was meant to happen. nothing.
and while they were my own doing, it might be whats best. but ill never know for sure will i?
im tired of letting people down already. my head tells me i might not be good enough to make them proud, happy, so it could be better if i just left. yet my heart knows i should try and make things better. i dont even dare promise anything now that i know i fail miserably at those, and hurt those i genuinely care about. just that you'd probably, perhaps, maybe, possibly never know.

chemistry beckons.

everytime I get stuck the words wont fit
I need a little more than luck to get me by this time round;

2009-03-21T09:44:00.001-07:00

At the end of the day, what is it that we're holding out for?
I know what I want. But what we want is seldom whats best for us.
So why do people want it anyway?

What, then, are we holding out for?
Im trying to tell myself its everything we've ever wanted.
You seem to tell me otherwise.

I dont know what to think. Maybe its better if I dont.

Believe in all thats good in life. Focus on chem and math la dc -_-
I shall.

2009-03-16T06:51:00.000-07:00

Walao, I still havent collected my CNV from david, and its starting to feel weird without her. I really should go down some day, and maybe get a spare ball while im at it.

btw my complete NV is my wife, so she's a she.

So its been 3 days since the start of the holidays and my progress in chemistry is pathetic. Not to worry, my mugging efficiency is increasing, and organic chemistry should be done in no time. Chemistry shouldnt really be a problem if I focus on it for the week. I only fear for my Maths, since I really want to pass it this time round. HAHA. Who am I kidding. Its becoming increasingly clear that this blocks wont see my first pass in Math since sec 3.

nvm. at least try. if i fail, try harder.
This means I need to go for Maths consult sometime this week. Whoever wants to go together can jio me. Thanks.

"Worry a little every day, and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years." If something doesnt go your way, if it doesnt come out to be what you expected it to be, find a way to fix it if you can. Train yourself not to worry, because worrying never fixes anything.
I know you can. From how little I know of you, its obvious how strong you are. Dont ever doubt yourself for a moment. Its not easy, it never is.

life can be/is beautiful. we just have to know where to look.
perspectives do make a difference.

2009-03-15T05:07:00.000-07:00

Lol, so I did get bored enough to be posting about talentime.

Talentime was yesterday, and it didnt turn out all too bad. The band and vocal group winners were rather expected, as I Crushed a Snail on Wednesday and Oral Participation won the 2 categories respectively. OP was damn funny and I only just realised lianjie could sing so well. :/ well done ex-socialservices head! The only surprise came when yanming, whoever he is, won the solo category. He was great, but still, not what I had in mind...whatever. I cant say he didnt deserve it, he sang really well. And justina said he suddenly looked damn sexy just because he could sing, so...it must have been some imba singing. Jiehui was IMPECCABLE! wth, I never would have expected it from him. Yes, I knew he could sing well, but his rendition of 'Superwoman' was beyond expectation. beyond godlike. Well done.

1 week till math blocks. HAHAHHAA. Ill just focus on chemistry now and do well for it. ahwell.

i know ive made mistakes. but loving you was never, ever one of them.
given another chance, ill fall for you all over again.
not that it'd matter if i dont do anything to let you know;

Liverpool 4 -1 Man Utd

2009-03-14T09:59:00.000-07:00

Liverpool 4 -1 Man Utd

I told you a thrashing beckons. I LOVE LIVERPOOL OMGWTH.

If i get bored tomorrow, or rather later on today, since its 1 already, ill post about talentime.

No ziran didnt win. Iype did, just as I foresaw (:

i miss you, and probably will even more this holiday.
i just hope nothing changes for the worse.

Man United beckons.

2009-03-13T20:16:00.001-07:00

A thrashing of Man United by Liverpool beckons. Wakaka.

Its the clash of the titans later on, and i will miss it. AS ALWAYS. Seeing as how Liverpool always loses to ManU when I dont watch, things dont bode well. Im serious. For 4 years, I have missed all but 1 match between Liverpool and ManU. And they have lost all but that 1, which they won earlier this season. Jia lat. But its okay. I know they have what it takes to whoop United's ass. And its not that bad considering ill be doing something fun even if I have to miss the match.

Gogo Liverpool. Gogo ziran.

Ill be watching talentime later at around 7, and rooting for ziran, although deep down I know iype will win D: It might actually be enjoyable and hopefully not what people call it, "a waste of money".

Had physics yesterday, which I might have messed up. The paper could have been much worse, but I dont think I fared well in this in any case. Too much careless mistakes and poor time management. Ill be hoping for a S at least, because it looks nicer than a U, and maybe S's dont count in getting banned from cca. Ahwell, now that that's over. Do well for chem, and dont get that a U, or S for that matter.

goddamn. i freaking despise myself for making you feel so bad. then again, i keep doing so, but end up not doing ANYTHING to help you make it through. gahhh. why do i always panic in front of you. its becoming a habit. how the hell can panicking become a habit -_- wth la dc. seriously. wth.

;want time alone with you baby.

and we'll linger on.
time cant erase a feeling this strong;

After GP

2009-03-11T06:03:00.000-07:00

Liverpool 4 : 0 Real Madrid

This is the reason why I support Liverpool and love them so much. Their performances during matches prior to this one, were honestly disappointing and tough to watch. But just when you thought they were unlikely to win a match ever again this season, they rape Real Madrid, the giants of spanish football. I'll be heading over to jurong to watch this match later on at 1030, though I ought to be studying econs:/ whatever. I'll just go watch the match, I should be able to scrape an E tomorrow. Not that that's what I'm actually aiming for, but I just want to bowl for the school, the team, and for myself at Adivs. An E should be sufficient to get me there in April.

GP was %$#%#@.
I usually take a much longer time to complete the first question before I gain momentum and do the rest at normal speed. But wth, 5 mins for a single question is epic fail please. The paper was tough, but I think I managed to answer the compre questions decently. If I want to pass summary and AQ though, I must pray that I get lucky.

nvm. now that its over, theres no point worrying about something we cant change. focus on econs and make sure we do better for it.

Its also amazing I can actually mug in school without an mp3 as well. I normally just flop without the music, which acts as an earplug from the random chatter/sound other people make. I will try mugging physics tomorrow in school again, after econs. And I realized ruizi is as horny as ever hahahha. Not that its a bad thing, I kinda like it actually, hes damn funny. Like I said, I miss the secondary school days. From what he told me about KI, I think its a damn fun subject. I want to take KI D:

funny how it feels so right, yet hurt so much.
and now, i dont know whats right, nor what to do to make things right.
whatever. this feelings right. so we'll just see what we can make out of it.

you'll always be my baby;

your call

2009-03-09T08:04:00.000-07:00

I LOVE THE NEW VERSION OF 'YOUR CALL'!!

Ohmannnn. This new version of 'Your Call' by Secondhand Serenade is sheer quality. I'm addicted to it right now, though I still can't find it anywhere in .mp3 format, which is why I resort to youtube D: Walao, I want it! Must find it soon, anyone who has it please send thanks.

Anyways, blocks are in..2 days, or rather, just 1 day. I do hope I do well this time around. Even if I dont, there will be no regrets. The grades reflect the amount of work put in. If I didnt work hard enough, I don't have the right to complain. Lets pray everything goes well.

Dayong's advice on how to pass exams: Pray to God.
:D Nice.

Ive also been filtering through my sister's list of songs (its a huge list btw) to add to my collection of songs to listen to while mugging (or die trying to!). And it made me discover all the nice, old songs Ive missed out on. Ronan Keating's songs are just some of the better ones I only recently found out.

;if tomorrow never comes
will she know how much i loved her
did i try in every way to show her every day
that she's my only one
and if my time on earth were through
and she must face the world without me
is the love i gave her in the past
gonna be enough to last
if tomorrow never comes

so tell that someone that you love
just what you're thinking of
if tomorrow never comes;

what a song. what lyrics.
lovin it. lovin life.

week before blocks

2009-03-08T06:35:00.001-07:00

Yoshhh! I officially have the lowest mugging efficieny in the whole universe. D:

I read through circular motion and dynamics which are, not as tedious. Gravity and thermal physics are killers. Superposition has been quite thoroughly covered during lectures and tutorials this year, so it shouldnt be an issue. DC circuits and COE are manageable. All thats left is brushing up and consolidating every single bit of info. Oh, and getting more questions to practice. Physics tutorial tomorrow will be essential and I will make full use of it. Exploit alvinlow to the MaxXx.

So, yes, my mugging efficiency is at an all-time low right now, and its a really bad time for that to happen. I dotaed today for the first time in about 2 weeks(i think). What a time to start huh, 3 days before GP. The fact that I'm here, and not doing superposition questions, is another telling sign. I hope it gets better, even if slightly, over the next few days. Mad rush before blocks. Haiz.

nevermind, lifes meant to be enjoyed. 100% winrate woosh!
lets convert that 100% to pure concentration for the next 3 weeks of blocks or so.
if i can focus that well while bowling, i can do it while staring at notes.

i feel wonderful because i see
the love light in your eyes.
and the wonder of it all
is that you just don't realize how much i love you.

you say it best, when you say nothing at all;

2009-03-07T07:32:00.001-08:00

deep down, im dying to tell you everything.
deep down, im screaming 'i love you.'

not that you'd believe.
not like you'd care.

A level results are outtt

2009-03-06T07:09:00.000-08:00

Yes! A level results are out! But no! My slacky seniors didnt do as well as I hoped!

That would definitely mean I need to mug harder, since based on boss's theory, we would possibly perform similarly to our seniors at our A levels this year. Damn.

I actually got to work on physics today in school DURING BREAK. Lol. That is an achievement in itself. I never EVER seem to work during breaks. Maybe during lectures and tutorials, but never during the dismal breaktime s62 has been getting.

And surprisingly, I had a pleasant day despite it being a friday, which are usually extra hiong. We had chem and I did not get roflpwnt by msliew for not doing my tutorial. Though she was kind of pissed at the class for not getting our reagents and observations correct, it went pretty nicely. Next was GP with drwilks. He was humorous as usual, in his 'my-vocab-is-95214342-times-better-than-yours' kind of way, so I liked it. Some 3 hour break followed, so a group of us went to highschool, then i headed to the library to DO PHYSICS ^^. Math was great, since I actually got to complete my FIRST INTEGRATION QUESTION IN 4 MONTHS!! And then I did like 3 more!
Hey, I'm actually not that bad in integration nor math - despite answering 'integration of x^3' wrongly :/ hmm.

The seniors came back today and it was fun hearing them recollect BMT memories. Aloysius had one whereby they were made to stand in the rain for a long time, and when the rain finally did stop, their officer came by to tell them "Eh guys, now we will proceed with our wet-weather programme." :D

I'm not sure what they think of their results, but they look happy about it. Or at the very least they aren't showing displeasure. I just feel sorry for our friendlyexcaptain gwen. Shes pretty upset at her results. Hope she wont brood over it for too long. Chongchen did great, with AAACD; adriel did too; benchan seemed disappointed only with gp, so I believe the rest were okay; and LIMCHEEHAO PASSED MATH. So on the whole, I'd say they did well.

Training went great, which was unusual. Though past trainings might not have been as enjoyable, I'm just glad I've been noting random mistakes, and making the effort to not repeat them. So bit by bit, I'd reckon by A divs I should be able to repeat shots more consistently. Had dinner with HCBA (hwachong bowling alumni, also called the seniors) and half of the team, at Fish and Co. The whole thing was so much fun. I cant wait for the next gathering.

Now that I've sorted out my inconsistent bowling, passing blocks is even more essential. No point bowling well, but not doing well enough academically to represent the school. 1 step at a time. 1 down, blocks are next.

only you can tell when its right.
deep down, i know it is.
perhaps thats what you're feeling too.

the times we spent together were never enough;

a level results am tmr!!!

2009-03-05T05:26:00.000-08:00

A level results come out tomorrow, and I can't wait!

According to weize, aka boss, our fate for A levels this year rests upon how well our seniors did for their A levels. While these may be fallacious remarks(wilks will be so proud :D), I choose to believe in this theory.

Seniors were slacker than we are.
They get good grades for A levels.
Therefore we will get good grades for A levels.

Wooo. I just love deceiving myself (: Lets all hope they do well, shall we?

Sanyu wants a quarter day tomorrow. I want to NOT see wilks tomorrow, since I still owe him my timetunnel :x Its weird because I'm more or less done with the thing, but I just don't want to. lol.

I'm now torn between saving up for a new plastic ball, or an acoustic guitar. pffft. Opportunity costs suckkk. Maybe I should just save up for both. But that'd possibly mean having to save up to $400. wth.

This post is uber incoherent. I shall exacerbate the situation. I kinda like lectures/tutorials now. Physics lectures have been surprisingly interesting this year, possibly because i'm actually attending them :D You have GOT TO love samuel tan and ong jy. I mean they are so cute. Free birdy diagrams? Coooolombs law? While people criticise them for being too slow, and messing up worked examples, they eventually get the job done don't they? It doesn't hurt when they look like fools to bring us a weee bit of fun, joy and laughter during lectures.

To make this post even more incoherent, I think Dr Wilks has impacted my life. So I shall inject felicitous expressions to my blogposts in hopes of being 'a worthy student in a top junior college applying to take courses in top universities in the medium of English.'

I don't even think felicitous was the right word for that sentence hahahah.

but we're still trying
So you should know this love we share was never made to die
I'm glad we're on this one way street just you and I
Just you and I;

i swore to you my love would remain...

we made life the way it is

2009-03-04T05:04:00.000-08:00

i will not mess up.

its weird how things go wrong all at the same time. but i will not give up, cause i can make things right.

Trainings dont feel right nowadays. it just doesnt. Somehow i cant seem to perform during trainings, and nobody seems to know whats going on with me. Im happy with my bowling and all, but theres this air around the training venue/team that is frankly, rather suffocating. Maybe i just have to get over it, since noone else has this issue. Well, not that i know of. On good days, i average 170s-180s when bowling with my parents, and even 140-50s on bad days. Training averages range from 130-145. While it might have been much worse, and people might say that its really a decent average to be getting, i know that most of it has to be attributed to luck. I dont deserve even a 130 if i cant repeat shots, and if the feel of the shot is wrong. pfft. So much for being a vice-captain. There are so many others who deserve this position more than me. Guess i got lucky. :/

After a great start to the year, I realised ive been losing much needed steam in my studies. What a time for this to happen, not that it should in any case. On the bright side, i havent fallen behind in terms of my own study plan for the blocks. It could be because I set aside a whole week for physics revision, and i still have half a week left. You cant possibly fall behind schedules that are so lax, can you?

And its not helping that i havent been making things happen like ive been saying. i know. I will find out how to go about it. someday, somehow. So somehow, its been affecting me. It shouldnt. If only I hadnt made things as complicated as they are right now. sighh.

i know this feeling's right, when it hurts more to know ive hurt you, than to know you might not feel the same way about me.

though we drifted apart in distance, i still think of you as being right here. and although we have many new friends, it is our friendship that means the most to me.

lol. i feel dumb bitching about the things i messed up in life. Life doesnt suck, we made it that way. I made it that way. But, its not too late, yet. Do everything wrong (in training), and get everything right.

yes indeed, ill need to get EVERYTHING right.
go for it dc.

before physics spa

2009-03-02T06:44:00.001-08:00

Woahh.. i realised i suck at physics! Electric fields to be exact. I got 0/5 for BOTH the pre- and post-lecture tests. HAHAH so it seems i know nothing before the lectures, and i still dont know nuts about electric fields. ahwell. Im not finding physics preparation as tough as i thought it to be, and i get this feeling ill regret not working harder for physics, so i shall finish physics this week, and touch up econs+gp next week.

Physics SPA tmr. SPA is essentially a test of how well we memorise. From information I gathered through xiwen, tomorrow's SPA will be a carbon copy of the one we had during mock - so we just need to memorise errors+improvements for the same 6 limitations! How cool is that! I hope i do well for it tmr.
\Internal resistance, fluctuations in ammeter readings, temperature thats constantly dropping as reading was taken, assumption that bp and rtp is 100deg and 28deg, 2 data points are not sufficient, internal resistance increases as experiment continues.

all of the things
that i want to say
just aren't coming out right
i'm tripping inwards
you got my head spinning
i don't know where to go from here;

its just you and me.

2009-03-01T06:36:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think I might actually be better off dead. I keep doing the wrong things and end up hurting those I love.

wth dc. get your act together, make things happen.

More about POP day

2009-03-01T01:33:00.000-08:00

Well, I ended up too busy yesterday to blog about the day before.

So, anyway, friday was POP and sadly, i couldnt make it since training more or less ended right about when POP ended. Then i had dinner at clementi SUBWAY with josh and sufen. We ended up talking about high school life, and i concluded that hwachong high school life > nanyang's. To say that its much better than life in nanyang is a gross understatement. As always, josh made me laugh till people stared at the 3 of us, all of them going '...wtf?' yeah, life back then was great. I miss chen gou, npcc, jeffreylim and ... basically every single thing in high school. God, were we crazy back then :/

Woke at 7+ yesterday to send my maid off at the airport. It was sad to see her go after 5 years with us. But she was really a great person, and at the end of it, i think we treated her more like a close friend than anything else. I feel bad for her, since her mother passed away a year ago, when she was in singapore, and she didnt go back to see her for the last time D: so i hope when she gets back to Indonesia everything else will be fine.

Had subway for breakfast with my cousins after that at ECP. FOOT LONG SUBWAY MELT DOUBLE UP FTWW!!!! damn shiok, since i was starving by the time we left the airport. I hanged around at my cousin's place for a bit before my dad fetched me to go bowl. 850 pinfalls over 5 games! 170 average!! Im finally getting back the accuracy I used to have before messing it up by changing my game. GOGO OWN AT A DIVS!

And my grand-aunt passed away recently D: though i only remembered seeing her once ever, it was still sad when we went to her wake later in the day. I saw her only about a month ago or so, during CNY, and she looked so healthy and bubbly. She still joked and laughed quite abit despite her age. Goes to show how fragile and short life can be. Its only been a month and i wont get to see her ever..hmm. I need to treasure life MUCH MORE now. We all do.
Live life to the MaxXx.

All that would mean I didnt do work on Saturday. Damn.

I sort of did physics abit more today, so, ill just keep doing that, till I sufficiently covered every topic tested.

I will do well for blocks. If I work hard enough, i know i will. Work. Work. Work.

p.s i may sound uber stressed out, but seriously, im not. i just set goals so i know what i have to do by when. im actually damn lax XD

girl, its not just a word. its our love story. one that goes on forever;

POP

2009-02-27T06:00:00.000-08:00

POP today! i ended training late, and POP ended unexpectedly earlier, so i didnt make it on time D: ohwell. apollo won the fac dance competition anyways! WELL DONE ANZAI! 'move move shake shake now drop' is just awesomely sexy. initially i thought artemis would win, and that athena actually stood a chance, but none of that matters now.

Will add stuff about today, tomorrow. im beat.

i know im not doing enough. but i dont know what else I can do. ohboy...i must not screw up again.

Joy!

2009-02-25T06:36:00.000-08:00

Wth. I realised im damn lag when i do work at home. Efficiency is at a minimum nowadays, especially with GP. WHY THE WILKS DO WE HAVE TO DO TIMETUNNEL + SAT VOCAB LIST + 175 WORDBANK + TIME MAGAZINE WORKSHEET!! All of them due on the same day :/ die. I want to go sleep now, im dead tired from training today. But i know it means ill leave work till tmr. AGAIN.

But i shall anyways. :DD

Theres like pressure coming from almost everywhere, since im actually bothering about my grades and whatnot this year. All that GP is due in 2 days, thus essentially i have only tomorrow, and if i dont complete it ill get fragged like cask/maledict/dagon laguna/refresh/dagon laguna. I also need to carry on revision for physics and econs(they come before the march holidays). Cant do even the simplest of circular motion already, those i used to find easy. grrr. And the pressure is on for me to do DECENTLY WELL in blocks so i get to bowl for the team in april. I want to do the school proud this time. so lets go! MUG, BOWL, WIN.

you're my only respite from the hell ive been getting. your smile lights up my day, like seriously. ive no idea why it happens. but it does. and im glad we're even talking. though i still have no clue whats going through your mind - and it sucks not knowing whether or not im doing things right - ill keep having faith.

Someday, we will be. Just you and me.

baby, thank you.

2009-02-23T04:38:00.000-08:00

This will be the most incoherent post by far imo.

CHEMISTRY SPA TMR. I WILL MUG AND OWN. since it isnt very hard anyways, so i shall.

I shall also use the blog as a homework diary to keep track of the stuff i have yet to complete, for the lack of an actual diary. Prepare for chem spa > finish GP time tunnel > Do physics tut > Maaathhhhh > all the economics work i cant be bothered to do up till now :P

POP is this friday and i really want to attend even though training's at chevrons till 7. Maybe i will cab down back to school or something. Im quite sure itll be fun (: And because i promised Matthew, i will learn the ATHENA fac dance by friday.

I realise I dont give you enough credit for trying. But im really thankful. Grateful that I get to see you everyday, since it just feels wonderful seeing you smile back at me. Its really all i ask for in a day.

Thank god. And thank you.

Looking forward to tomorrow then...

2009-02-21T21:50:00.000-08:00

I guess I dont really have much to blog about nowadays, since things are rather mundane. I did attend the Interview skills workshop yesterday and it was really much more fun than I had expected, much of it due to the presence of alton, wenjia, melvin, and yiquan. Hopefully what I learned will be useful, someday.

Also, Im bowling much more consistently now, which is always a good thing, and im slowly but surely getting closer to a new pb. But doing well in bowling wouldnt count for anything if I mess up my academics :/ and I think I might since Ive been slacking off my work considerably this past week. I will start off with physics this week before moving on to econs and GP(finish up Time Tunnel too). Chem will come after all that and..math too. lol -_-

I found this nice, old westlife song. Its a ziran favourite, but I like it more for its lyrics than anything else. Call me/it mushy, cliche or anything else you want. I just find it .... nice and beautiful and true.

'Another day
Without your smile
Another day just passes by
But now I know
How much it means
For you to stay
Right here with me

The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing in everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

A thousand miles between us now
It causes me to wonder how
Our love tonight remains so strong
It makes our risk right all along

The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing in everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

Things can come and go I know but
Baby I believe
Something's burning strong between us
Makes it clear to me

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing in everything you do
I wanna grow old with you'

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. Because you never ever lose by loving, but only by holding back. Maybe I wont this time round.

its getting better

2009-02-17T03:26:00.000-08:00

OKAY! so i finally got bored enough to blog today.

I went bowling yesterday with noreen ruiyi felix. It went...sort of well, in a weird kind of way. I messed up pretty badly for the first few games, but what made up for all of that was the 202 game to end things off. Any game above 200 = happy delphius :D Ive been really inconsistent nowadays though. My low games have gone really really low, but i have also been hitting 200 games more often now! Hopefully its a sign for better things to come. GOGO >1000 pinfall for A divs.

School today was fun, since it ended with a koonho lesson, which basically means that ALL TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS ARE FUNNN.

Well, sanyu did something STRONG during physics today. lol. So we had this electrolyte we were using for the mock spa, and sanyu had to taste the copper(II)sulphate solution. O.O i mean it was cool and all, but i still think blue gatorade will taste better than that blue CuSO4 solution. He had the copper + rusty + salty + bitter taste in his mouth even after drinking coffee and eating 50c otahs. san made everyone know that theres truth in the saying 'Theres a thin line between bravery and stupidity' Sorry san! but i dont think its bravery this time round XD

No athena fac dance session today. I saw anzai with his apollo-lers(whatever you call them) at the inner plaza, and ares outside the audi. Itd be cool learning the fac dance this year again, since its fun and funky and can help athena win the fac dance POP thing this time round. Even dayans interested, so why not?

Alan talked to me after school too. HAHAHA WHATURFF. he started asking me about the stuff in sec 3 and 4(i shant elaborate them here, since itll take forever) and how we knew stuff about him that we supposedly werent supposed to know. Then he confronted didi :/ jason thinks alan's trying to weasel information out of us as evidence against him, since alan did tell jhunboon 'wheres jason, i want to kill him.' Hmm, well good luck porhow. Cant really help you there. Alan does pack a mean punch, as daxian found out sometime in sec4. i do miss 3/4Q abit.

listen baby, just wanna tell you im sorry.

i think its getting better. even if its just by abit. ill keep trying. we live and learn to love more each day. i need you to guide me, since i still officially freaking suck at this. i just want time alone with you, to know you better. we might be worlds apart, and chances to meet might be few and far between, ill try to make every second count. i will.

sorry for taking forever;

2009-02-11T06:49:00.000-08:00

09s62!!!!!
We finally got to meet the juniors today, and they were a bunch of freaking enthu dicktards, all of them like to 'having their fun!'. 'Enthu' doesnt even remotely do them justice in fact, so a better description could be 'desmond meeting kiran, while smoking crack'. They went 'A-A-ATHENAAA' when we made our way from the canteen to the classroom, and it made weize go WTF AHAHA LOOOLLL gg. Definitely not what i had in mind, but i guess its a pleasant surprise, and i did laugh a whole lot more.

Then siquan aka mera aka skew aka sq aka xi guat, and i, started taking to spotting the junior girls in a10, 3 out of like 15 or so? Boy, shenhong, tag, ruizi, and chejian must be soo sad. 3 junior girls, and skew says 2 might be transferring out. ._. imba.

And our juniors came up with their own holysh*t cheer that made me go !!!!!!!!! They started cheering out of nowhere and i swear their stamping and cheering made those diamond-shaped glass panes on the doors shake. Hardly unexpected from a class with 12/16 guys from uniformed groups. 4 NPCC 4 NCC 4 Stjohn. dayan will now have to go all out to defend his title as Loudest s62-er. the juniors dota too! and that kinda made us high quite a bit more, since life with the juniors wont be that boring (:

Bowled with josh rx tiff bern soph charis and gj after all that. Im just glad i managed to do what i set out to do, that being to repeat shots on the lane. Kinda lost my end-over-end release abit, but i guess giving it a little rotation never hurt anyone. Accuracy is now of paramount importance and I WILL GET 100% ACCURACY BY A DIVS. i know i can, i know i will.

Okay. So i finally found time to get friendship day gifts. Well, im quite sure i more or less squeeezed it out somehow, but i got it done, and im pleased with myself. Though im also quite sure the stuff i got should be at least 2.9343435346754 times better than what it is, i guess they should do for now.

baby, dont say that you cant love;

i realised its not that hard. but maybe im still not doing enough, since you dont seem to look me in the eye now. but thats not the point. i still need to do better, i know i do. and it can be better.

without frustrations, life would be without meaning. we just have to focus on making sense of the bullshit around us. life will be so much more fun then, wouldnt it?

First draft victory

2009-02-08T04:21:00.001-08:00

8th February 2009, the day we won our very first draft match. Our opponents werent exceptionally formidable, but they werent push-overs either. It took a gruelling 65 mins for us to finally down the world tree. But im just glad us noobs got this first win out of the way, and hopefully we can start winning more drafts in days to come. Actually, no. It'd be hard to find time for a decent draft nowadays anyways, so im just hoping we can continue winning. I know we can.

I keep forgetting what work I need to complete over the weekends. In fact, i forgot what work i have everyday, so i end up having to ask people. :/ which shouldnt be the case.

Blame not, the lack of opportunities, but instead the lack of courage to seize the ones before me.

Its taken forever, but I believe I can put things right.

After all this time;

NPCC reunion dinner

2009-02-07T07:28:00.000-08:00

:/ i finally pubbed for the first time in 2 weeks today, because i got really bored in the morning, and i didnt feel like completing my vocab list. So i played Meepo twice with a Naix game in between. Won all 3 in room 12, which made me happy(: My current win rate after deciding to minimize game time stands at an awesome 90+%. I only lost 1 game, but that was when i played with michael. No doubt he played better than me in that game, but i will be a jackass and blame him for the loss, just because its mike and i know he wont mind C: Meepo is just awesome, especially when last-picked against pub line-ups that have negligible AOE. My micro is practically non-existent, but i still managed fairly well with a 9:3 in my first meepo game in months. Farm, rape, win.

My relatives came over today. And thank goodness, for i missed my baby cousins. 2 of them. Both of them look so freaking cute and I love them, but they somehow still like to hit me :/ and ignore me and struggle whenever i carry them. I guess im still a stranger to them, which is expected, since i only see them once a month or so. So thats only about 12 times.

I totally forgot about the NPCC reunion dinner i was suppose to have until some guy called to remind me of it at around 3.46. He started to laugh when i paused for 4 seconds or so trying to think of the date. "huh? its today?" "ya, lol"

Well, only taisoon, adrian, dayan and i went for this dinner from the squad. D: wished more wouldve come but the MAD-ers have got some dance competition and that would more or less mean half the squad cant make it. So the 3 of us, excluding dayan since he had to sit at the officers table for dinner, along with 3 sec 4 juniors ate at table number 4. The dishes were meant for 10 people, yet only 6 of us occupied it, so we somewhat ate more than what we paid for(: we didnt even touch the plate of fried rice given how full we were. Being back there reminded me of the times when I was slacking in the unit, not thinking twice about the future and all that stuff, since life was truely fun then. Its weird how fast we've come from being a nub in sec 1, to being a NUB in j2 now, and i miss those days. From the chapteh days of sec1, to the rushing-down-5-flight-of-stairs-to-reach-canteen-first days of sec2, finally to the 3/4Q days.

I WANT TO BE A SEC 1 RETARD ALL OVER AGAIN!

but, its not possible. so ill have to make do with what i have right now. and treasure what i've been given, and whats around me. this, i havent been doing. and i dont want to regret not having done anything to treasure them, so ill make things right this time round.

I will.

im feeling much better now. and no, i dont want to remove you from my life. so hopefully you wont remove me from yours.

i may not make it through the night.

i wont go home without you;

just wanna let you know

2009-02-05T02:55:00.000-08:00

they say one cannot keep too much things to themselves for too long, theyll explode eventually. which is why im actually glad i have a blog, somehow. maybe the past year's making me on the verge of exploding already. i doubt most of my recent blog posts will even appeal to the 6 people whom i told i had a blog. cause its weird if half the world sees all the crap im typing hmmmm

i officially suck more at dota now, having abstained for the past 2 weeks. my usual beyond-godlike streaks - :DDD - have been limited to killing-sprees in the 2 games i had. i guess the drop in 1337 skillz are the opportunity costs for attempting to mug more and do more work nowadays. and i think its paying off, since im actually confident in doing schoolwork now.

it also helps that i do the same mundane stuff at home once i come back. on laptop>sign in msn>check fb, check mail>check mymym.com, djrickysmith videos> do work/watch tv. and when im bored of tv, and without a decent game of dota these days, i havent much of a choice other than work. so i tend to get started on them instead of using them as decor for my desk. throw in a couple of hours of running and you get the full picture, more or less.

yes, i've been an idiot, something you should already know by now. and i know how i might seem not to care about our friendship, but i just hope you will understand, that i do. i just need to put this feeling behind me now, because you deserve so much better.

but its getting so much harder.

i dont know if this is what you want. but i do know that you can be happier without all this shit im doing. you mean the world to me. yet im trying to lock you in a corner of my heart and keep you my little secret. how stupid huh.

Federer said after his defeat, "God, its killing me." now, its killing me.

Forgive me. Forget me. But please, dont hate me.
im sorry;

2009-02-02T05:28:00.000-08:00

I just watched a video of Federer crying after his loss to Nadal on youtube. Being a fan of roger, it was just emotional to see him weep in that manner and I really want to see him win a title again. In fact, i think ANY normal person out there will feel for him after watching it. The feeling of having been no.1 for ages, and then having to resign to fate as no.2 is devastating. What makes it that much worse was losing the title to a man who just ursurped your throne. Ouch. *and just as im typing this, theres this ad on chn 8 featuring federer. some gillette phenom razor.*

On the bright side, another sports outfit i support is doing pretty well. LIVERPOOL WILL WIN THE CHAMPIONSHIP THIS YEAR. they will. cause im biased, and torres+gerrard=godly. with the exception of their entire right wing, they have world-class quality in every freaking single position, just as siquan and i analysed during math lecture (: hey, at least i understand football more than i do math.

Fact of the day: My last graded pass in Math was Congruent and Similar Triangles in secondary 2, under Mr Png. I got an A2. :D No such luck ever since.

i need to get into a head of steam entering week 5, or at least i think it is. chem and physics are manageable, econs under koonho is....dismal, as ever. math? what math? i need to do well for blocks, lest risk getting suspended from cca. and that would suck, cause a divs are coming sometime in May. So, i WILL DO WELL FOR BLOCKS. then proceed to do well at a divs. 4-digit pinfall over 6 games MINIMUM.

do i always seem like i dont care?
i guess i do. since i never seem to show it. hopefully i can ever make it up to you

;You don't have to tell me what you're feeling
I know what you're going through
I won't be the one that lets go of you

Don't have to be alone with what you're going through
-comebackdown, lifehouse

maybe we are never meant to be

2009-01-24T07:23:00.000-08:00

WALTER RAY WILLIAMS JR ROCKS! (:

we're like the 2 ends that never meet.

i know you've been trying, trying to make things happen, and i never seem to be able to do whats best. and its at times like this when i make you feel like i dont care. if i were you, i would be disappointed too.

but i do. its just how i havent been myself around you. its like facing the math paper at EOYs when my mind goes blank. but in a good way this time round, even though the results still suck and i feel like a total jerk.

even if things havent turned out the way we want them to, isnt it only right to follow your heart in situations like these? if you still find it in you, why walk away? if you still believe, believe in us that we'll find a way.

when you finally think that theres nothing left in you to make you want to stay, always remember to keep that smile on your face. that way it wont hurt me as much than to see you leave feeling down. because even after you leave, this passion will still be burning in me, as it had right from the start. and it wont stop burning anytime soon.

love yourself if you can ever love me.
ill do whatever it takes;

cause i believe in you, in us.

2009-01-21T04:35:00.000-08:00

I'm watching alot of piano cover videos on youtube now. Most of them are really awesome. And im going to learn to play 'Blind' on the piano, ill figure out how. Speaking of paino covers, David Sides is friggin awesome! Just search some of his videos. Its sheer brilliance, him. His Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol is remarkable. As is sanyu's drow.

Training just got so much more fun. The juniors are already coming in, and showing much interest in joining the team. Without a doubt, they're much better than me when I first joined last year. A divs got hope le (: But i still need to get so much more accurate by the time its May. It would just plain suck if I fail the team again.

cogito ergo sum. i think, therefore i can.
i can, therefore i will.

I NEED TO GET STARTED ON REVISION!
i havent spent time going through most of the stuff taught last year, most of the stuff that i forgot. its 7 weeks to blocks(i think) and im still nowhere close to a pass in math. chem physics econs arent half as bad, but i really shouldnt procrastinate any longer, though theres comfort in the knowledge that im not behind in homework. yet. Ill start with chem this week since i still dont understand ionic equilibria. math will be next, since im still struggling with Chapter 1: Indices. physics and econs arent too bad yet, so theyll come last.

Note to self: stop mugging bowling. start mugging mathhh. DO NG TONG CHEONG PROUD!

you make me lose myself, whenever i look into your eyes. and i come out of it, feeling like a total jerk. but i still hope itll get better, cause i really should have done better in any case.

why do i keep running from the truth.
all i ever think about is you;

after all this time

2009-01-19T03:30:00.000-08:00

I realised its been some time since I last posted. And thats largely due to the fact that I've nothing fun to blog about D: unless you consider bowling scores as fun.

P.S i hit a 205 with my new MaxXxZone. Thumb stucked, inconsistent release, not aiming, and this ball can still get me a 205. What more can I say about its quality in pin carry.

So I've actually been doing work alot more now this year. Way more than I had in term 1 last year, and yes im proud of myself. Abstaining totally from LAN is my top priority right now and I think its working (:You tend to get bored during the holidays and even on school days, when you dont dota nor do work. So i spend a little of my time over at failblog.org, the place for retarded videos and pictures of epic failurezzz. Here are some of the better ones:

I know this year will be one of many changes, especially when im starting to improve in Maths. GOGO PnC GOGO. For one, im no longer sleeping in class(as much), and instead im actually taking stuff in for a change. Lessons might not be that bad afterall! What with robertwilks and mrlow as our new gp and physics teachers, its gonna be much busier than last year, cause we have no choice but to finish our hw. or risk getting assraped by Drow Ranger Wilks. ahwell, at least itll be fun, since im starting to love s62 even more now...somehow.

the brain tells me to leave. the heart tells me i still cant get over.
cause it sucks having to let you slip away knowing that i cant even do anything to make it happen, knowing that i dont want to because you'll be better off and happier without me. and ultimately knowing that simply because i cant commit, its better this way so we wont end up regretting the choices we make.

its funny how this feeling hasnt change a single bit all this time(its been toooo long), and how i dont even know you all that well. but i guess it happens, and now im in too deep, i cant get out. now ive run out of reasons as to why this feeling cant fade away. its a shame how we're worlds apart, and its killing me to see us drift apart, no matter how glad i will be to know that you'll be happier this way. so please. stay happy for my sake. (:

'But if I let you go
I will never know
What my life would be
Holding you close to me
Will I ever see
You smiling back at me
How will I know?
If I let you go..'

bahh i've really been an idiot. but now that ive got all that off my chest, life seems all peachy once again, cause it is. it doesnt matter if you even somehow read this, not that its better if you do, but one cant possibly keep too much depressing stuff to himself and not explode. ill get started on physics tutorial and finishing up chem tut as well.

LIFES GOOD. BELIEVE IN IT.

fun picts

2009-01-09T03:30:00.000-08:00

Its just 3 days before the start of the new school term, 3 days before I decide whether or not to abstain from LAN until after A levels, 3 days before seeing Liew again.

And to commemorate this joyous occasion, I've got several pictures I found lurking around my folder which I find particularly amusing.

Indulge.

Loved the last one. No idea why. :D

Threw a 210 today at SAFRA yishun with melvin, which made my day. We planned to meet at 2, and our beloved dayan called to say he couldnt make it at 1.57. ): Not exactly what I expected after travelling for an hour and was 1 stop away from yishun mrt. Not that I blame him (more like not that I can, or risk expulsion) but I was really hoping for more people today. ohwell.

i think watching walter ray williams jr bowl makes me improve.

And i'm really aiming to achieve quite a number of things by the end of 2009. I classify them under goals, more than newyear resolutions, since my newyear resolutions for the past 3 years have failed - PASS MATH PLEASEEE. never happened. zzz

1-Do well in A divs with at least a 1000pinfall for 6 games.

2-Abstain from LAN. or dota for that matter. i seriously doubt the latter will happen..SO, i shall stick with the first.

3-Do well in A levels. preferably in math as well or im rather screwed when it comes to selecting unis. IF i ever reach that stage that is.

i havent done anything to make it easier for us, so now let me make things right;

SETTLERS CAFE

2008-12-29T05:41:00.000-08:00

I went out today, and it was a really pleasant day.

Woke at 9 to head for CDANS to bowl with qingyang and our never-say-die antiques, aka seniors. There were chongcheng, yantian, benchan and jansen. I was happy with my bowling(: so..yeah, that was great.

Then we went to Settlers Cafe over at clarke quay to play boardgames! I swear I never knew boardgames were so much fun. EVER! So we played BANG!, Saboteur, Prehistoric Jumble(i think), Bladerdash. Oh and a random one that involves removing sticks and letting the monkeys on them fall.

BANG!: Most intellectual of the games we played imo. WE had to role play as either a sheriff, 2 vice-sheriffs, 3 outlaws and a renegade. So we pick cards to decide our roles, and as sheriffs and vice-sheriffs, we have to kill all the outlaws. The outlaws have to kill the sheriff, and the renegade must kill everyone else. AND WE GET AWESOME POKEMON SKILLS TOO!!! not that anyone will understand that. =/

Saboteur: It ended so freaking fast=/ and im too lazy to bother elaborating.

Prehistoric Jumble(?): Its like heartattack, except that we play it in like 7's, up to a max of 9 retards :D So we swap cards and try to complete the whole set of 8 cards. However, unlike heartattack, when you complete the set, you dont go HEARTATTACK and slap your hands all around. Instead, you stealthily take a bone from the pile of bones in the centre. Anyone who notices that someone else has taken a bone can also take a bone. Amidst all the chaos theres bound to be someone who doesnt notice and keeps on trying to swap his cards. Person who doesnt take a bone loses.

BLADERDASH!: OR as we call it, BANGLADESH! ohwell nvm that. Craziest game ever lolololol. Its like taboo, in the sense that a judge will pick a card from a huge stack of cards and read out the questions. On each card there will be 5 categories. For example, if i were to pick the first category 'Words', ill read out a word on the card and the rest have to guess the meaning. *Trust me, the questions are sickeningly hard, so most will just give cock answers.* The players then have to pass their answers to the judge who will read them out to let them vote for the answers they think is correct. and the answers were so freaking cock...

Some of the questions/answers we got/gave:
Haboob - shermaine
Vagitis - hmm, use your imagination. 7 boys were playing. D:
Farkleberry
and to end the day,
Baggywrinkle - 'OOI AH GUAT' by jansen LOL. ownage

You can dictionary.com those words.

And uh..I went home after that. :D

i know its something special
when i smile just thinking
about the possibility of you and me;

its so unreal. but life's just great :D

soccer!

2008-12-20T06:41:00.000-08:00

FINALLY! I got out of the house today, first time in a long while, excluding going to chem consult with desmond - chem consult does not count as going out. But desmond's almighty presence does make up for things, albeit him being 20 mins late :D

Well, I had training. A first in 2 weeks, so I'm happy. I managed to rev my ball properly today. Yosh.

After lunch and chionging back home to leave my balls, BOWLING balls, I went to school to meet up with our soccer kahkees. ck, lincoln, fts, marcus, jonneo and me. elson ee pangseh-ed us despite being a councillor. tsktsk. And sadly, had my first major wtf cramp ever. I dont know how it seems like a big deal to me but I'm actually happy. at getting a cramp. yes. -_- Damn the thing hurt for 15 mins. But it was fun. LOL. Imagine like, severe cramp at 3 different spots on your leg. Flex the calf and cramp the thighs. Flex the thighs and cramp the feet. Heavenly(:

On the bus home, something..weird? funny? not-worth-mentioning-but-i-still-am? happened. Not sure how I should categorize it. Maybe you can. So I went up the bus - more like hobbled than anything after nearly tearing my calf muscle from that cramp(: -and found an empty seat. Those that are totally empty, and not with someone sitting next to you. Naturally I adjusted the aircon towards me, cause I was hot =/ or rather, it was hot. Then this woman who came up the bus slightly after me, walked around attempting to find seats that were blatantly abundant. Found 1, but wasnt happy, found another, still not happy, came next to me and sat down, and adjusted my aircon away from me, 15 seconds after I first adjusted it. -_- I swear I heard some other guy laugh behind me.
I dont know how I thought it was funny. But, I think it is. (:

Can't wait for christmas. I still have no idea what to get for my cousins. I still haven't sent the CCA exhibition form due 22nd December. I still haven't touched physics, haven't done more than 2 math questions, haven't finished chem, nor found my GP work. I think I'm screwed.

But life's still great.

maybe its partially because I ever met you.
come what may;

new specs!

2008-12-12T05:22:00.000-08:00

1) WoOoooO! New specs!

2) GO MYM. mym > ks.int! (click to enlarge)

From mymym.com "20:32 - Fear scores a double kill and kills Davion half a minute later. He has 2300 gold, Armlet, Treads and 3 Gauntlets of Strength"

Till next time when I have better things to post.

~yes i'll be thinking of you.

she will be loved

2008-12-06T06:04:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I last posted because I really have nothing to blog about D: how sad. But I've been working on maths and chem (or so I keep telling myself I have XD) so it hasn't been all that unproductive.

Well, I went to bowl, again. Seems like a rather ._. thing to freaking be blogging about, but im happy with my bowling today! Went to yishun safra for private training with aloysius, who's most probably our team-coach-to-be next year. But I arrived late =/ and saw ruiyi, noreen, felix and a junior there. Either the lanes really suit me, or that aloysius is really THAT good. Felt I had alot more pocket shots than usual, hooked more than usual, hit harder than usual. So overall, bowled much much better than usual. At least this time I was confident with my shots.

Then I headed over to SAFRA Mount Faber to..yes bowl again. D: Tried what aloysius told me and I think i'm finally starting to improve in my bowling again, after being stagnant for what, half a year? Yoshh! Got a clean game (one with no open frames, meaning all spares or strikes). I totalled 631 over 4 games, avg 157.75 BUT i bowled spinner-style for a quarter of the last game so I wont take that into consideration XD thus i averaged 165.33. Decent at the very least, though I really ought to be in the 170-180 range.

Mouz.Dota has omfgwtfbbqlolWHY disbanded. Instead the mice have migrated to Ks.int (Kingsurf international) making the new Ks.int a omfgwtfbbqlolHOW imba team. Its like some gathering of 2 of the world's best Dota teams into 1. That's cheating. But i would really like to see how things turn out, or rather how they thrash the rest. ALSO. Ex-virtus, -Ks, -DTS player Vigoss, world no.1 player in 2007 will be returning to Ks.int to 'strengthen the scare factor'.
(: its now Virtus.pro + mouz = Ks.int
Therefore the current Ks.int roster stands at :
Ks.int^Puppey
Ks.int^Gunz
Ks.int^Vigoss
Ks.int^KuroKy
Ks.int^Jolie
Ks.int^Twistd
Ks.int^Miracle-
Ks.int^Levent
'The mice become Kings' GG WP

Enough Dota talk that I'm quite sure noone understands or bothers with.

Had dinner at IKEA. The swedish meatballs were heavenly (((: Oh and their restaurant has this slogan - 'Clear your trays. Leave no trace.' -__-
Not a huge fan of that phrase but its kinda funky lol.

never needed you to love in return,
just for you to know that I do you;

i don't mind spending everyday
out on your corner in the pouring rain
look for the girl with the broken smile
ask her if she wants to stay awhile
and she will be loved~

cruise, maple, and bowling!

2008-11-27T03:50:00.000-08:00

I got lazy yesterday after I came back from the cruise, so I decided against blogging and dota-ed instead, from 1230 to 0300. WOOooooo!

Bowling friendlies:
Didn't bowl as well as I would have hoped, but it was definitely better than the previous friendlies/A divs, so I'm not too sad about it. More of being disappointed. The fingertip insert of my CNV came out, and I changed to my spare ball for a few shots. And it did affect me a little and screwed up my first 2 games. Ah well, I got a 180 to bring up the average though. Any bowling session with a 180 = happy dc (:

Maple new job:
YES IM BEING NO LIFE. But holidays drain your life, so....here goes. I tried this new job in maple, the PIRATE. You get to choose between Gunslinger or Infighter (both of which sound ****ing retarded imo). From what I've seen/tried, the Gunslinger has omgwtfbbqlol low damage e.g. at lvl 35 damage range = 30+ to 200+ =__=. The Infighter does seem a weee bit better but they use their fists to whack. The characters in Maple have puny arms so you more or less take damage for every hit you land on the mobs. Needs a lot of funding imo. Back to grinding my spearman I think.

Cruise:
爽!
Lol. Sailed to penang and phuket. The fun comes mainly from taking your mind off stuff and like spamming food. 3 servings per meal = :D The buffet dinner is heaven. Roast chicken leg etc etc. We went onshore for 2 days, 1 in penang, then at phuket. I got massaged by an elephant lols. You lie down facing the ground and it pounds on your back, before kissing you =/ or rather sucking your face with its trunk. One of the guys in the tour got fragged by the elephant though. He was made to lie on his back, and the elephant trainers threw bananas up his shorts. ^^ Well, it then stuck its trunk up the guy's pants in search of the elusive bananas, pounded his chest and kissed his crot....=/ its just somewhere an elephant shouldn't really be kissing (:
Overall I really enjoyed the trip, and I don't care if I've gained weight, it won't keep me from going back. Like I say, "Eat now, die later." Live for the sake of eating!!!

So I went bowling at SAFRA Mount Faber today, and to get my fingertip insert fixed. Bowled decently I guess. Nevermind the scores, I finally hooked my ball again! After that bowling friendly I got the hang of what I should do to release correctly. I'm so tempted to get a new ball, but I still love my CNV and it still reacts and hits so goddamn hard. So I will believe that it will work for me all the way till after A divs next year.

faith, is what I need.
not in you, but in myself
faith, that I can be what you want me to be.

no, those words arent just for show :D

CRUISE!

2008-11-22T18:21:00.000-08:00

2 hours till I leave the house for Harbourfront to board the ship. (: 4 days purely to relax does seem a bit too short though.

Bowling friendlies yesterday, pirate job on maple XD but more when I get back.

this feeling never gets old

2008-11-20T17:04:00.000-08:00

its funny how i keep telling myself to let go, to forget.
only to find out that i can't.
its just this feeling, one that never gets old.
and its wonderful(:

baby theres something about you that keeps me coming back for more;

I realise I'm restarting alot of older games. maple, runescape, NEOPETS! I desperately need a life when I'm stuck at home. Its been either going out or gaming, which isnt all that good. Doing maths while afk-training in runescape does make me feel less guilty, but when NONE of the maths questions are actually solved...well, you get the idea.

Bowling session later at noreen's club. No idea where that will be. But till then.

Right then. Bowled at Keppel Club(with noreen and ruiyi), noreen's club that's situated over at harbourfront. Bus stop 'Opp Blk 45'. The whole experience was enjoyable, though the lanes could have been more encouraging =/ The place smelt like a clinic and I liked it. There were 8 lanes but only the 3 of us were there as we went in just as it opened at 11am. Oh, and there were these areas for spectators that made it look grand. Best of all, right next to the lanes was this ball polishing area where we could polish our balls as many times as we liked, how we liked. So when we started bowling, I felt the lanes were...not quite what I had expected. I ended up hooking no more than 5 boards. Its been the same for the past few sessions but I choose to believe that the lanes are tough, and not that I suck, so yes I feel happier that way XD. Before we left, we polished our balls till they freaking sparkled. Lol that feeling is so darn good. Think first-time parents walking away from the hospital with the baby, something along that line.

SAKAE SUSHI!!!!! Walked what seemed like 1.5km? to get to Harbourfront MRT. Since it was around 230, we spent half an hour shopping before going for the buffet at sakae. :DD we left the place happy people :D Here's what we ate (scores):

ruiyi - approx. 14 ++coloured plates, miso soup, softshell crab roll and some other roll, lychee mochi icecream
noreen - approx. 7 plates, miso soup, a couple of rolls and sesame mochi icecream
ding - approx. 7 plates, miso soup, rolls, 2 cha soba, lychee mochi icecream

We ate a whole lot more infact, just I really can't recall =/ I might still be digesting so not enough blood going to the brain now I guess. Though it seems enough to Dota :D Indulged in 1 game. The team being,

Melvin 'prolohz' Lee - Necrolyte
Benjamin 'Benxie' Xie <<=__=? - Queen of Pain
Michael 'mikechang' Chang <<=__=? - Pandaren Brewmaster
Ding Chun 'Delphius' Pro - Earthshaker

Guys, thank my hero ES now (: 2/8/23
Ran to burn off the calories from sakae. Not sure how far I ran, but was definitely lesser than usual. Tomorrow's the friendly with SRJC, TJC, MJC, SAJC, so I can't afford to be injured right about now. Call me 'lazybones' all you want. I call it 'Playing safe'. XD

'Life's great'. yes it is(:

Quantum of Solace

2008-11-16T05:06:00.000-08:00

Today, I caught Quantom of Solace with my parents over here at Jurong Point. Despite guojun and gabe telling me how fake/lousy/not nice it was, I felt that it wasn't all that bad. Yes, Bond owns speedboats with his sampan, obliterates jetplanes with his old junkie, somewhat impossible and godlike, but its Bond. Thats the whole point of 007, to make James a god, at least imo. Its quite funny how I got dizzy watching the first 20 mins of the movie lol. Maybe cause the movie didnt show a single scene longer than half a second and it kept flashing about as Bond went about his fights. Enjoyable movie on the whole, and really action-packed, so I liked it (:

Dinner was also great, when we went to this ala carte buffet (is that what they call it?) where you can order as many dishes as you wish, just as long as you finish it or they charge you extra. The fish was exceptional and so were the ribs :D Life's meant to be enjoyed. And I sure hope to keep it this way.

Now for some interesting news. Mouz.Dota have recently lost 2 members of their team in a space of 2 days. Captain mouz.Drayrich and mouz.Away have left, the former leaving first. The latter felt that with their captain now gone, so has his passion for competitive Dota, and has decided to withdraw. ohwell poor mice. Now left with 4 members they're in the process of recruiting a new member to complete a team roster of 5. For the upcoming Dreamhack competition, they've acquired the services of Ks.int^Puppey to form a team of 5. But with that vacant slot, I'm wondering how mouz.Delphius might sound XDDD.

just kidding.

everyone has the right to dream.
so let me live mine while it lasts;

workwork

2008-11-14T03:47:00.000-08:00

Hmm, I watched Madagascar at Tampines yesterday. Its a really good, funny show that I strongly recommend =/

My sister's away on some camp till sunday, and I'm stuck at home, sortof grounded for going out too many times, and telling my dad that I'm not using MSN too much. Well, see, my dad seems to think I'm using MSN way too much, though I usually just leave it there and watch TV or something. So just because the MSN page appears on my screen every second means I'm chatting with my friends excessively D: ahwell, at least I know I'm not. So, yes. I'm stuck at home partially because of that. Yipee.

onasidenote. I think I should stop acting gay O.O lol. For the record in case somepeople wonder, I'm not. Though its a form of language in s62. See, in society, we've got dialects like hokkien, cantonese etcetc. In s62 we've got english, chinese, dayanish (kkk, cannot take eet), body, sign, vulgar, and gay. Now even my sis thinks im gay roflmao! For example.

In a random mass convo to gather dota kahkees-
Delphius: dammit i dont want to lane with des the wanker.
Desmond: HOI! i dont love you anymore.
Delphius: fine, i dont love you, ill just find someone else to gay with.
....and many other random stuff along that line. people in s62 should know =/

So imagine what my sis would think when I afk and she sees this convo on the screen. XD goodgame wellplayed.
but its all good, harmless fun. and yes, we're lurvinn it!

And its 9 days till the 23rd, when I go on a cruise. I know I'll definitely gain weight there but I don't really care :D Can always burn them away once I'm back in Singapore. it'll be good for me, the cruise, I guess. Hopefully, it'll take some things off my mind. And not to mention eating, sleeping, waking up, only to eat more. Doing stuff like that and just relax. :D

;didn't make sense not to live for fun..
life's great when we don't think too much
and doing stuff we enjoy
it also helps that you're happy
because i'm glad you are.
stay that way, will you?

This was a really -random post, but, yeahh. And to add to the randomness, how about a minute of silence for the Malaysian guy who attempted to solo 3 white tigers (or 3 potms, or a potm with manta - either option will rape his ass, which they did). Hopefully, the otherside will be a better place for him. No white tigers, or maybe just higher fences :D

sleepover

2008-11-12T16:44:00.000-08:00

"With great looks come great responsibilities."

The sleepover at mike's place didnt go quite according to plan, once again. We were supposed to meet over at simei station at 1 but xiong had his cheerleading training and ben had something to do at home. But apparently he stays in geylang. Naughty naughty ben.

mike: eh ben what time you coming over?
ben: uh i will be going late. i got something to do at home
mike: so where you now?
ben: geylang. uh...
mike: what?
ben: ya geylang my house :D

I reached first at around 3, where mike and I watched Friends. It made me feel like watching Friends allover again, and waste my holidays away. Went on to random DotA matches vs AI, pubs, and single player games. ahwell, we didnt have much to do. Didnt think i manage to even win 1 round on the PS2 at soulcalibre though. ben raped with this mega-fast-attacking girl, xianghua. Even mike couldnt do anything to stop his 7 games winning streak until he cheated by using some boss hero Abyss to win ben.

While searching mike's computer for random fun games aside from feeding frenzy 2, I found this SPORES game that looks a whole lot like world of warcraft in terms of gameplay =/ In this game, you basically start of as a cell, though it really looked a whole lot like a sperm ._. and you start going around (swimming, rather) while eating other cells to grow. You can upgrade yourself by adding spikes, poison, and even a jet booster on your ass. And you grow until you evolve and level up to form a creature. mike's creature had wings and could summon some violent tribe consisting of. 3 of himself? to kill/devour/make extinct other animals they found on land. definitely not for kids below 2 imo.

Had to leave early for my grandma's birthday dinner. It rained, and we were out at east coast park =__= so yeahh. Thankfully we had shelter, but the whole experience was kinda screwed by the rain. And so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA!
it'll be my baby cousin's birthday bash on the 30th of november and I'm really looking forward to it. I think he'll grow up to be a really successful man. His name, dayang, has DAYAN IN IT! holycow what else can he ask for in a name? He's really cute and soft, though he doesnt really like me carrying him, or maybe its just cause i suck at carrying little kids. But yes, I try carrying them cause they're small and lovable, no?

Madagascar later today. Hope my aunt gets the tickets. Last minute tickets lol. I've been doing a lot of last minute stuff lately. Or rather the whole year. Its in my nature to do it though I dont want it to be. "the true blue hwachong guy way" as mike puts it.

you asked how this story ends.
baby if you let it end my way,
we'll end with a 'happily ever after';

movie with mike

2008-11-11T06:10:00.000-08:00

My eyes are really uncomfortable now. Guess I should go take those contacts out right about now.

Movie with mike today, and it turned out, not quite like what I had in mind lol. It was supposed to be 6 going to catch madagascar today. huishi, louise, and char(if I got that right =/) couldnt make it, and claire didnt want to catch Quantum of Solace with 2 guys, so it ended with just me and mike. And yes, we decided to catch DRAGONHUNTERS instead of QoS! mike felt we wasted 6 bucks, though I didnt really mind. At least it was funny alright even if the plot really blows. See, they make this dragon out to be really really strong, even calling it the worldgobbler. But as things turn out, the main guy owned it with 2 sewing needles. He took 2 seconds to slay this almighty dragon by throwing the 2 sticks into its eye.
Worldgobbler has been slain by the Sentinel! Lian-chu has acquired Aegis of the Immortal.

After the movie ended, we went back to mike's place and played PS2. I managed to win him 1 round in soulcalibre and I'm proud of myself (: Lord of the rings sucked and we gave up after 1 try of the hobbit's adventure. Worms-3D was funny and the song was so catchy we started singing it roflmao. But it was mega difficult. Think worms2d but try steering some supersheep that flys in every single direction. We then went on to DotA!

Ben, if you even somehow read this, I applaud you for playing at home with 3 second delays.

Honestly, I've never tried playing DotA with delay ever since I started, though mike tells me everyone plays with delay. delay is when you click somewhere and how long your character takes to respond is the delay. Well, as with most who play with delay for the first time, I fed with alchemist! ahah. So I got him to let me play AI+ w/o the delay and it wasn't all that bad, though it felt really nolife. 3 rapier in 40 mins can be considered rather well-farmed? I played luna and she requires a lot of farm, so. yes. that i did. No i'm not proud that its AI, but you tend to do stuff like that when you have nothing else to do.

Tomorrow will be a sleepover at mike's place again with ben and xiong. I don't think I can actually sleep over though and will just gay with them in the afternoon. Surely beats stoning at home all day imo.

Class Outing!!

2008-11-06T17:08:00.000-08:00

So we had s62's class outing over at yushi's house yesterday. It was really really big and she had 3 dogs =/ 2 males and a female, albeit with 1 of the males showing a bit of bi tendency._. ziran really loves stroking it in suggestive positions so yeah. Met at AMK mrt first with the class before taking a bus down to serangoon garden(?! if i even got it correct), the one next to chompchomp. The whole outing was great fun and we even got to challenge wanling and yushi to table tennis games that I think dayan and dharl lost. weize and I found this bed-like, table-like structure in the master bedroom, which we thought was for...^^. And yes, I ended up eating quite alot for the BBQ before the table tennis sessions with DAYAN, and before getting on the xbox360. Dammit the steering wheel is really hard to control. You can't even tilt it beyond, what, 10 degrees? Any more and your car spins. But yes, it was still fun trying to keep that wrecked car under control.

Getting home was a feat itself once again.

Well, we left yushi's house at around 1115, and her dad sent dayan, siquan, chiawu and I back to AMK mrt. the train going towards marina bay terminated at toapayoh so we thought GG us, but thankfully the guy at the station knew which buses at toapayoh went to our places, so yeah, we made some freaking mad rush for the trains. More mad rush as we alighted and barely made our buses :D somehow it seems I have this knack for getting on the very very last transport home, of which I'm thankful, or spend the night with dayan at the mrt station - though it doesn't seem that bad an idea ^^.

FAC OUTING. later. at 430, and yes, I'm actually looking forward to it. And that movie with michael-and-some-random-others, and working after I come back from my trip. And the trip. Lol. Its always good having something to actually look forward to in life. At least, life becomes so much more interesting and un-sian when you have it.

baby im looking forward to the days with you;

wcg 2009 is starting soon. or is it 2008? =/ either ways, its starting. so yeah, thats good:D And its something I'll look forward to once again(:

life's great once you think of the happy things.
whether or not things will work out,
let's just think happy thoughts,
cause love's about making the loved one happy.

if you are, i will be too(:

Start of holidays at last.

2008-11-05T04:29:00.001-08:00

PW IS FINALLY OVER! and good riddance. I might not have put in a great deal of effort working on my PW, but there was definitely more work put into this than for promos. Amazing huh.

OP went generally as planned. Minor stutters here and there(ohwell), and I hope I really didn't screw up majorly in any other way. It was also great fun in the classroom today, somehow. Especially so when ziran started busking for us in the classroom. gogo simple plan for the imperfect! As buskers usually do, he placed a hat in front for donations. jiayuan started off with 50c. I threw my whole wallet. weize dumped $50 into the hat. O.O But the crapping around really helped take away some of the pressure, I know it did for me. So, josephwhite, came late for the OP session. 50 minutes late, surprise surprise. I THINK he was grateful his group was the last to present, though he didn't really show it, rather he just smiled his way through, as always. The male judge/teacher seemed to really enjoy kping jo though. Blasted jo for his hair, collar pin, tucked out shirt, and even shoes that were deemed inappropriate for the session ._. basically from head to toe, so yeah, poor jo. But alas, good ol' joseph didn't look the least bit worried they filed an irregularity report against him, even laughing when he told us he might get a T grade. If an employer were to be searching for an employee that's unique, one-of-a-kind, his T grade might net him the job. "I got T for PW!! Try getting that!" Let's just hope he doesn't get that T.

Everyone else left really early after PW though. So early that me and jo couldn't find 3 random souls for a game. Chris had 1, jonquah had 2, we had 2, nice random mix so we weren't fated to LAN today.

and perhaps we aren't fated as well.

not that i'll give up right now
i've waited so long to give up now
right here where you found me.

wanna hold you close and say three words i've always wanted to;
wanna hold you close and never let go (:

you're one of those beautiful things

2008-11-03T04:13:00.000-08:00

First things first, happy birthday ah-qiang! happy birthday nat!

So my family celebrated my cousin's birthday yesterday, even though her birthday is really today. Went over to Caton Wok by Chef Kang somewhere in Katong. The food was really really good and yeah, we had a great time getting together once in a while.

And with OP looming, I've been spending more time on the OP slides than I had with the whole WR. Lina and stella think I did very little for our WR - at least 20 pages on my own - so I guess its only right to start working that bit harder for OP. But YESS I'm still proud of that 20 pages of appendix(: And I really do think my video for our OP presentation is nice. The fact that it was rushed out in 2-3 hours makes it that much sweeter :D Hopefully, we can somehow pull this off and make the whole PW journey end with a bang, in a good way. And michael's group hasn't finished their OP slides, 12 hours from his presentation ._. though I'm not exactly helping him by laughing at him on MSN. He says he needs the distraction, but ahhwell. Do well in OP k, my gay padawan.

I haven't been running as much as I had said I wanted to. Which isn't good, at all. Maybe its the 400m I set that's making me not want to run. Damn its so bloody far. God give me the strength to make it through the whole 400m(: Jogging on the spot suddenly seems such a good idea. lazylazyme.

你最近不说话
是不是有什么事让你不快乐
听说你最近很孤单
有点乱有点慌
可是我却不能够在你的身旁

you're right about the happier things in life.
so turn back time,
so I can be there when you needed me
'cause you're one of those happy things in life
one of those things I want to live for.

baby, we needs answers

2008-11-01T05:09:00.001-07:00

Its amazing how I've been going on about how united s62 has seemingly become, and yet now we've got 2 class blogs all of a sudden. Not that I'm pissed/disappointed at any of this, but more amused at how it blew up. Frankly I've got no idea how after 1 night all these happened. Somehow mind telling me what happened, its gotten me all excited :D

Went bowling yesterday, went bowling today. Went out yesterday, went out today. My dismal bowling scores have made me wonder what I've been learning this whole year. Been around for almost every training and yet I'm not performing at the level I really should be. And that means good enough to carry the team. Though we already have felix to do that, what with his monster forearm and pin-obliterating revs. I guess I have to at least not let myself down next year at A's. Yes, A divs, and of course A levels. goshdarn~ increasing an average by at least 20 pins by next year is NOT EASY! If I make it though, Ill treat s62 to LAN for 1 hour each! Thats friggin 20 bucks already T_T

PW! ohwow. I'm not complaining or whining about this. I'm in fact thankful for it filling up my first week of the holidays - or holydays as angwh pronounces it. And yes, my group is NOT the last to complete or to almost complete our OP. michael's group hasn't started on it yet as far as i know. And kudos to stella for adding the smexy animations to our already smexy powerpoint. Dammit it looks so darn good, although my presentation might kinda blow the whole smexyness of the slides. =/ maybe I should finally start on a script and not let my bad habit of procrastinating kick in again. It already screwed things up for me this year and I won't let it happen again. Letting things slip out of my hands and out of control, even though I realised it early enough to do something about it.

we need answers to the questions we've been asking
so please don't tell me it's too late.
not after i've decided never to doubt, never to give up.

MYM vs Mouz! The clash of the titans in DotA, locked in an epic battle in 2 major finals of 2 different competitions! PDL #1 and ENADC. So look forward to the replays! Though Mouz have been dominating the recent matches against MYM, the latter have been looking really good these past weeks against other teams in the 6.52e map. Despite taking to 6.52e rather slowly, MYM might finally have the chance to prove their abilities against the mice, after some decent matches against the likes of SK(in which MYM won 3:0) and many others. 来来来，打架了. roflmao joseph white. *_*

just one confirmation for it to start.
then i'll make sure we'll never end;

holydays!

2008-10-29T04:39:00.000-07:00

The year passed so fast, its already the holidays. I wonder what I've really achieved in this past school year hmm.. guess I better take time off to look back at what has happened, to reflect, and to come back better than ever.

Maybe then I won't make the same mistakes again.

So anyways, we had the 'special CT session' early in the morning and gave out awards for different random stuff. Of course, DAYAN the supreme commander was crowned MR 08S62! HAHA it was hella fun voting him in, albeit having to suffer his constant EH EH EH throughout the whole process. Damn he's one loud fella, and we all love him for that. And who else but zsc could have gotten the MISS 08s62 award. Deserving candidate I must say :D. But I guess its true that she has made our class more famous than it would have been. Desmond got the 'Most Sociable Guy' award, but only after he admitted to 'flirting all the time and touching guys'. Honesty is the best policy, my friend! Well done! XDD

Its really been a good 4 terms in school, though s62 started of kinda slow, with the class obviously divided between the sexes, no thanks to homolytic fission. But it got much better as the year progressed. Somehow, I really feel that Dayan has a hugee part to play in this. And no, its not cause he's the supreme commander. Not totally. We all have a good laugh with him and he doesn't mind(i hope :D), so it basically brings the class together cause we finally have something in common, that being the davanishu.

Ill never want any other;

Ill never want any other class! Though it might not turn out so good for my academics, s62 really does make life in school soooooo much more fun. The guys are really bonded (保护老人), the girls are really bonded(usually), and we have dayan to bring both sides together. Common interests do indeed bring people closer together.

Pity we never had the chance to find out if we do.

I might need to start running again. The last time I slacked off during the holidays, I came back to school looking like a swollen pig. Took a month or so to lose all that weight, and it wasn't easy, neither was it any fun eating less each meal. roflmaowtf. So I shall make it my goal to go run every night w/o slacking off again. I have to persevere. How? Ring of health + Void stone. PERSEVERANCE FTW! All the more so after michael told me he ran 10km for fun + 6 rounds during training. Maybe not 10km for fun, but rather as he claims, forced by huishi XD So I can't lose to michael haha. But, damn, 10click is seriously ._. so I shall start off with a massive 400m to see if I faint. If I survive, I can perhaps aim for something further. Say, 450m?

doesn't matter how long it'll take,
i'll wait right here for you,
for you to come back.

real love lasts.

we can last the distance

2008-10-28T00:54:00.000-07:00

It's the second last day of school! 2 days till the start of the holidays, though it feels like it already has. We went for 2 -rd games today, raped the first (in my opinion) got raped the second. Well, you win some, you lose some. Though it would be better if we win all, yeah? It sucks to lose, whether or not losing is a part of life. I'm not a good loser, and I really hope I don't offend people whenever we do. Well, I believe that if we gave everything we got, make every move to the best of our abilities, there is no reason why we'll lose. So the loss can only come about if we didn't give our all, or if we really just were'nt good enough. In either case it means we're weak. Or rather I'm weak. So, I blame myself -> get pissed -> might offend people -> I apologise if I have :D

Anyways, enough ranting. It's all just the way think, though I try not to show it =/. The games today were decided by team line-ups. With all due respect to both teams, we were equally matched in terms of skill, gameplay. But with Tidehunter, Spectre, QoP, Venomancer, Zeus (our lineup 1st game) in a lineup, the AoE can hardly go wrong in any decent team. Our loss came because our lineup had hardly any link whatsoever - Troll, Skeleton King, Magnataur, Ogre Magi, Bane. ._. roflmao

why can't we just return to the times when we actually talked..

And as the end of term approaches, we may have to say BYE to jo, who almost, most probably, might go poly. Its more of him wanting to go there, than the school not wanting him here. I guess if he really wanted to stay, there will always be a way. He said before that it might be better for him there. If he really has to go then, well, we can always have inter-school DotA sessions. Hopefully it will indeed be better for him there. =/ Let's just hope that jiayuan stays too yeah? that way, s62 will be slightly more intact. gogo

Now I've realised the reason why I never got started with the things I wanted to. We don't want to rush head-on into things we aren't sure of. It may well leave both parties hurt at the end of it. I don't know why I made things so hard even in the first place. Hard on you. Hard for me. Nothing for us in the end.

How to start, is what I want to know.

Can a crush be love?
Can a crush, for 295 days, be love?
If so, how can one person love someone you hardly even know?
Someone, goshdarnit, tell me now.
Wake me from this dream, or give me direction.

Never knew love on first sight ever existed.
Never believed until now.

changes that were meant to be

2008-10-24T04:12:00.000-07:00

I realised my life only revolves around a few things, and this isn't good.
DotA - Fun in every aspect but I know I really should not be a Joseph Peh :D
Bowling - There really isn't much to say about this one. Smashing!
School - Roflmao. We all hate it. We all have to live with it. Guess when it comes to doing things we don't really like, we just have to take it like a man(or dayan, who is DA MAN!)
You - Not that it really matters now.

I really should try finding something new to do with my life. That probably can come at the start of the holidays, with 2 months to burn, you CANT possibly DotA every single day dammit. Or maybe it just might be possible with s62, who knows? Best class in town, with members ranging from DotA-ers to wankers! ._. its just how we put it in class.

So school consisted of....wait, school? Submitted I&R and went to havoc with Ben, SanYu(SnY!!haha omgwtfroflmao), desmond "wanker" liew :D and supreme commander DA. Won all 3 today. Im a noob feeder and won thanks to my team mates. Oh and, Ben lost to SnY: Viper vs Drow. SnY's Drow went SnY no doubt! Carried on our sessions at home with 2 more half hour games. Gee its either we're getting better or pubs are really lacking in standards these days =/ With the release of 6.55/6.56, there have been reviews on the effects of these maps.
1. The return of the Blink Dagger
2. Decline from farming
3. More ganking, more action - agressive play due to less warded map
4. Shorter games
5. Return of the old school heroes (Sven, Lina, Tiny, Magnus and such)
6. Easier pushing

This will basically be a summary of stuff from myMYM.com that I really think s62 should know. 1,3 and 5 have basically been successfully achieved through 6.55/6.56 with the buff on Blink Dagger, nerf on wards. With the buff on Blink Dagger, heroes who previously abused the Dagger in 6.48, will surely come back. However from the replay of the IHCS match,-cm mode, 2,4,6 have not been achieved to such success, especially point 2. SK.Loda farmed a total of 20K gold worth of items in Buriza, Boots of Travel, Eye of Skadi and Orchid. <- lol @ his items in a high level game! Anyways, point 4 and 6 have seen a bit of improvement but no where as close as points 1,3,5. Game was 76 mins long and easier pushing can hardly be achieved when players are still playing safe, by taking out heroes before mass-pushing. Logical but does not make pushing that much easier.
Replay can be found at: http://www.mymym.com/en/demos/20881.html

--I've been thinking these days. And it seems I've really gotten no where these past 10 months. Maybe its because I still haven't decided what it is that Im feeling. its just soooo hard to move on when you've nothing in common.

baby, if only you could show me the way to start
if only you could understand what im going through
if only you knew it hurts me as much as it does you.

we need new beginnings

2008-10-22T05:19:00.000-07:00

Crap, my eyes hurt like mad right now. No thanks to 3 consecutive days of wearing contacts for at least 14 hours each day. I guess its also kind of my fault for leaving my specs at the other house =/

I really don't intend on going school anymore these days. Im sure my whole class feels the same. Maybe not quite so for Black Monster, who is always so enthu. And this includes being enthu in backstabbing the whole class. We get nothing but PW and LAN for school, the latter being the only thing Im looking forward to. (: But its really sad thinking of how our class/clan/gang will never quite be the same ever again. Not to mention the fun we will have. Dayan please do something.

COMEONJOSEPH/ZE/WEI/DIDI/JY/HEHAO aka CYCLOPS!!!

w/o the first 3 our DotA strength will lose half its potency. NO WORRIES! Im sure my carrying abilities match Black Monster's ability to keep her mouth shut, and that is nonexistent.

what started out as a feeling, slowly turned into a hope
i think i've gotten over you. i think.
Life seems happier without you, but still feels as though something's missing.
I think i'll try forgetting, hopefully this will be better for us both, or rather for me.

never gotten hang of how to start, so don't remind me anymore of what we could have been;

3 hour break tomorrow before official lessons begin. Makes me wonder what we're going to do, eh guys? :D Another day, another 24 hours to waste. I need meaning in my life. BRING IT ON.

a new beginning

2008-10-21T05:28:00.000-07:00

how i wish for you to know.

Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa (whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today in the blink of an eye I'm holding on to something and I do not know whyI tried
I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
Iwant a simple explanation
For what I'm feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know
Whoa (whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today I'm on my own
I can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone
I don't know (I don't know, I don't know, I don't know)
And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breezeI need to step outside
Just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe theres a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain

Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think we'll make it out
But you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain

Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder, and I said
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
Oh baby bring on the pain
And listen to the thunder

On a side note, Mouz defeats Pub 2:0! The German/Swedish powerhouse Mousesports is really rocking the DotA-scene these days! Download the replay here
->http://www.mymym.com/en/news/14833.html